Monday, March 7, 2016

Sometimes, Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Day Is Like One Big Game Of Telephone

Kids today!

They can multitask like nobody's business, but can master none of the tasks. That's probably because their attention spans are shorter than that of a goldfish. They know a lot that's going on, but they don't go in-depth into any one thing. They're excellent texters...but sucky CONtexters.

Which can be problematic.

Last week, for example, in my small section of upperclassmen. Okay. Upperclasswomen. Only five. All female. One had mentioned that she already had a headache, and the day hadn't even started.

"Me too. But mine is because of my sinuses, I think, because I have a little cold."

Three of them turned to look at me like I had sprouted another head. WHAT? Isn't a teacher allowed to comment when she's feeling under-the-weather? They always want to ask me personal stuff, like if I ever feel like a dolphin (?) and now that I was volunteering information, it seemed to discombobulate them.

"You have a little colt?"

"Um. NO. I have a little COLD."

"Oh. Isn't a colt a little horse?"

"Yes. But I AM a little HOARSE! Heh, heh."

More blank stares.

"Yeah. A colt is a baby horse. So why would having a baby horse give me a headache? I would be happy! I'd love to have a baby horse."

"Oh. I just thought that's what you said."

"Not me. I though you said you had a little CULT. You know. Like a society of people that you make do things."

"Um. NO. I do not have a cult. Little OR big. That doesn't even make sense. Why would I tell you something like that?"

"I don't know. That's what I was wondering..."

Seriously. They need to try to focus. It's not like we were talking about wild mustangs or Heaven's Gate. We were talking about headaches and sinuses.

Just in case you were busy trying to figure out how to get out of your little underwater castle.


Sioux said...

Hey, a goldfish has a longer attention span, compared to SOME young whippersnappers...

fishducky said...

Hey, Teach, I just wanna ask you one question...Huh?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Are you pullin' my leg? Because I could have sworn that in my first full paragraph, I did, indeed, say that the young whippersnappers attention spans are shorter than that of a goldfish. Which, in a certain mathematical symmetry, also means that A GOLDFISH HAS A LONGER ATTENTION SPAN COMPARED TO SOME YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPERS!

Are you multitasking right now? Texting, perhaps, but not CONtexting?

Oh, they do that all the time. But around Hillmomba, it comes out as "WHAT?"

Kathy's Klothesline said...

That's what you get for sharing!

Sioux said...

Whoops. I was so worried about not saying anything too pointed, I really mucked things up.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Ain't THAT the truth! You'd think I would have learned my lesson after 28 years of teaching lessons!

Yes. Because we all know you as somebody who abhors saying anything pointed...