Friday, March 11, 2016

From The "Things That Can't Be Unheard" Collection

The great thing about Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's job (for the 1/4 of the school year she has left) is that every day she has a laugh.

This afternoon, as stragglers were leaving Newmentia after last bell, two of my upperclassmen came up the hall from their lockers. Mrs. Not-A-Cook stepped out of her room and spoke to one of them. She's a special teacher, not a cook at all, and has a good rapport with her few pupils.

The girl upperclassman came through the double doors towards me. "I don't want to know! I am NOT part of this conversation!" She waved her hands dismissively, and scurried along to get away.


"I can't believe them! NO! I can't."

"Oh, that Mrs. Not A Cook! You wouldn't believe some of the things she's said, down through the years."

[Like that Halloween dance when a girl in a pirate costume came to show off her outfit, and Mrs. N-A-C said, "That's cute! How you even have the little beard." And as Pirate wandered off, her friend said, "That's not fake. She has a facial hair problem." You'd better believe I remind Mrs. N-A-C of this every Halloween.]

"Yes I would!' She hurried along toward the bus-waiting area.

Along came Mrs. N-A-C and the boy upperclassman. "I was just saying..." He shrugged, and went in the bus direction himself.

Mrs. N-A-C was laughing her fool head off.

"WHAT did you do now?"

"Well, he said, 'Mrs. Not-A-Cook, why didn't you and your husband have kids?'"

[Let the record show that she had kids, he had kids, and once they got married to each other, those kids were pretty much grown, and out of the house.]

"And I told him, 'I am 62 years old!' And he said, 'That doesn't mean you can't have an active sex life.'"

Oh, dear! Did you ever wish you hadn't asked something? I wanted some brain bleach! We need to have a dispenser of it in the hall. Just in case.


Sioux said...

I'm sure you have some stories that YOU could tell, to get revenge. Some stories that would make THEM want to gouge their mind's eye out?

fishducky said...

A LARGE dispenser!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Well ..... he was right about that sex life, maybe not about the conception part.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I'll never tell, Madam!

A 55-gallon drum should suffice.

She DID add, "There's not gonna be any babies!" after his response to the 62-year-old part. But I was so horrified that I kind of let that part go over my bent-over-heaving head.