The Perfect End To Casino Robbery

And now, for the tale of the next forkin' thing depriving Mrs. HM of her peace of mind...

At the end of our casino outing last Thursday, we had plans to meet up front at 3:15. Farmer H would go out and bring A-Cad around to the front doors for me and The Pony, who stays with me for moral and perhaps emergency physical support.

The Pony found me at 3:00, at my favorite Wonder 4 Tall Fortunes slot, playing Indian Dreaming.

"Dad already went out to the car. I'm supposed to text him when you're ready for the car."

"Okay. He said 3:15, and I said I'd have to go by the bathroom first. Here. You can go cash in my ticket while I finish playing this out."

"Um. So... you're not going to include that on your ticket? Won't you just have to cash it out anyway, or send me back?"

"Heh, heh! You act as if I'm going to be left with some money! That's probably not happening."

"Well. Just in case, I'll stand right here by you. Give me that ticket! I'll hold it for you."

Good thing I did. I might have been tempted to put THAT back in and lose it as well! Anyhoo... I played down my credits and The Pony left to cash my ticket. He said he'd wait in the chairs by the front door, and text Farmer H when he saw me come out of the bathroom. That's a sad testament to how slow I walk! From bathroom to front door in the time it takes for Farmer H to start A-Cad and drive around.

Anyhoo... I always go to the bathroom before our 90-minute drive home. Only THIS time, I was feeling a bit... um... indisposed! So I figured I might as well make a little deposit in that bathroom before hitting the road. I don't normally like to do that out in public, but that IS the purpose of a bathroom. 

 

In fact, the lady running right up my rumpus on the walk over there was in more urgent need than was I. At least she didn't knock me out of the way. There was room to go around, but she must have been using my aerodynamic airflow to draft and use less energy. Once we entered the bathroom proper, she darted into the first stall the minute I stepped past. She was one of those "AHHH" people. Really. That is totally unnecessary! But she let her sigh fly at the same time she let her other business fly.

I can't really fault her for her business, since I was there for the same purpose. Though much more quiet about it. She was out of there quickly, and I was left with three empty stalls to my right. It didn't take long for me to do my business. That BBQ pork loin from lunch was squealing its way right out of me! I reached for the toilet paper.

There was a big silver metal holder containing an upper and a lower roll of toilet paper. I'd used the upper one with no problem when we first arrived. The bottom roll was full, still intact and unused. But there were scraps on the floor. Like single squares. 

 

As I tried to pull out some TP from the top roll, the square tore off in my hand. And the next one! Those two rolls were too close. The double-ply sheets of the top roll were no longer lined up. So each square was really flimsy. It took much shimmying and finagling to pull out a small strip of squares. In my efforts, several single-ply squares dropped to the ground. Except they didn't. They landed on the leg of my pants! And stuck like velcro!

Of all the times for this to happen... when Farmer H was probably fuming in the car over his losses, having gone out early to sit and wait on me. And The Pony waiting to text him at a moment's notice. You can be sure that I plucked those squares off my pants one by one! No way was I walking out of the bathroom with TP stuck on my leg! It must have had static electricity.

Anyhoo... I made it out unmarked. And made sure to tell the tale to Farmer H and The Pony as we pulled away. The Pony rolled his eyes and seemed to think it was too much information.

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