When I prepare Farmer H's supper, I lay out everything he needs. He prefers to eat in the living room. Most often in his recliner, but if it's something sloppy like nachos, he'll sit on the long couch and use the marred coffee table. Anyhoo... I put out his plate and silverware and paper towel, with whatever condiments me might use, and his already-sliced pickles and onions.
Tuesday night, I made fake McRibs. You can buy the similar kind-of-like meat frozen in BBQ sauce. All it needs is warming in the oven. I had long rolls. The kind of pickles Farmer H enjoys, which I don't, that are the crinkle-cut slices I saw too many tubs of set out for kids to serve themselves in the cafeteria. He said he wanted his onion in slices, not diced like on an actual McRib.
For sides, I warmed the baked beans I'd made the day before, when Farmer H grilled pork steaks for us. He also said he wanted ruffled potato chips. I put out a new bag, so he could have the big chips, leaving me the broken crumbs in the previous bag. I'm okay with that. I don't really like the big chips. Pieces are fine with me.
I left Farmer H alone for three minutes as he was getting his food on his plate. Three minutes! While I took a bathroom break. When I came back to the kitchen, he had broken the chip clip. How do you do THAT? All he had to do was give it two squeezes. One to get it off the bag it was already on, and another to put the new bag with the old bag, and clip them together.
Whatever. It should not surprise me. I'll just have to buy more chip clips. I went back to scratching my scratchers at the kitchen table. Farmer H said his fake McRibs were really good, and that yes, he would have that meal again sometime. Mrs. HM is pretty good at slopping prepared foods together for him.
Farmer H had thrown away his paper plate, put his silverware on the counter, and was enjoying his dessert of a Little Debbie Zebra Cake when I next walked by the cutting block.
"HEY! Why did you leave your paper towel here? You didn't even use it!"
"Didn't need it."
"You had drippy fake McRibs, and POTATO CHIPS! How can you not need a paper towel? I can't imagine how greasy the TV remote will be when I try to use it later."
"I didn't use it."
Sure. Maybe he only watched his Gunsmoke while eating his supper. But when he brought his plate back, and got dessert, he did NOT wash his hands. And I had heard the channel changing since then.
I suppose his hands just miraculously cleansed themselves of the potato chip grease.
4 comments:
Heh, perhaps he used the remote with one hand and ate chips with the other hand. I wouldn't bother with chip clips, clothespegs are cheaper and you get more per packet. Or use the metal bulldog clips available in the stationery section. They're pretty much unbreakable.
River,
No, Farmer H is very right-handed, and has the remote at his right, on the TV table. I've never seen him eat anything lefthanded. I used to have clothespins at my $17,000 house, where I hung some clothes on the line during summer. Not sure where they went, but they DO break. Those metal clips need hard squeezing, and we are both not wanting to overexercise our arthritic hands.
Oh, oh, I know how he cleaned his hands, really I know! On his pant legs, like a real man!! I use clothespins, too. Bet you could have guessed that! When they break, as they will after a time, I save the pieces for crafts.
Kathy,
I hope that wasn't one of the nights when Farmer H took a shower first, and was only in his tighty-whities! Probably not, since he went out to grill, and then ate when he brought in the food. Though he's not shy about going out on the porch in his tighty-whities. OR LESS!
Not surprised about your clothespins. You might eventually build a whole new shed out of the broken ones!
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