Oh. That's just how I image you'd write the sound of an Australian police siren. After googling it and listening to a clip. I can't verify that's the actual sound, though.
CALL THE COPPERS! There's a criminal in Hillmomba, and that criminal is Country Mart! Action must be taken! Since they keep getting away with it here, I'm turning them in to the Australian authorities.
COUNTRY MART IS SELLING EXPIRED FOOD AGAIN!
There I was, just rollin' down the aisle, singin' "doo wah diddy dum diddy doo... "
Oh, wait! No I wasn't! That was Bill Murray, before he got his STRIPES. Mrs. HM was actually rolling her cart/walker down the aisle, seeking Ken's Steakhouse Blue Cheese Salad Dressing, and Kraft Mayonnaise. Country Mart had every kind of Ken's but Blue Cheese. So I took a Kraft version. The mayonnaise was on the bottom shelf.
WHOA! A red sign taped to the edge proclaimed that Kraft Mayonnaise, the 30 oz jar, was TWO FOR $3.00! That's a bargain! I almost tipped over on my noggin, bending down to grab two jars. I had to reach way in the back. The shelf was nearly depleted.
HOLD ON A MINUTE! What was that fine print on the red sign?
Reduced for sale due to close expiration date
Huh. Probably okay. I use a lot of mayo. Let's see here. What's the date on my jars? Feb 2020? No way! And the other one? Jan 2020!
Sweet Gummi Mary! That's not CLOSE to the expiration date! In my book, the proposed tome I like to call Mrs. Hillbilly Mom's Common Sense, those dates are EXPIRED! Technically, in a court of slipshod U.S. law, Country Mart would probably get off with a wrist slap because January and February are CLOSE to March. If you don't count going backwards as being a bad thing in regards to an expiration date on perishable food.
Sure, if I'd had a jar in my cabinet, I'd use it a month or two past the date. NOT if it had been open in FRIG II. I might go one month past for open mayo. But I'll be darned if I'll PAY to buy already-expired food! If the chip man wanted to lay out individual bags of chips on the table in the Teacher Workroom at Newmentia, yeah, I'd take a couple. They're CHIPS. Not MAYO. And FREE.
Anyhoo...I put those jars right back on the shelf, and picked up a squeeze bottle that was the next closest in size to what I wanted. Dang. I paid $3.49 for the 22 oz squeeze bottle. But at least it didn't expire until JULY. Of 2020! I checked!
There's my old jar of Kraft Mayo, and the new bottle. Country Mart should be ashamed.
7 comments:
The Save A Lot does that here! They once had a pyramid of Hellman's Real Mayonnaise on display at the front of the store super cheap! I immediately checked the expiration date, knowing there had to be some reason. I have started checking the dates as a matter of fact now, since new employees have been known to just fill the shelves without rotating stock.
You should have had a hissy fit, right there in the aisle, to protest the selling of expired food. You should have made sure there was a huge crowd gathered around and then you should have spun around, spittle flying, to communicate your unhappiness.
Spit. Snot. Whatever you can summon up...
HM--You better sit down before checking this out:
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/peeps-factory-closes-for-coronavirus-how-it-will-affect-easter-baskets-in-2020-192727761.html
Even though it sooooounds hopeful, you might have to start hoarding something besides toilet paper, paper towels and hand sanitizer...
You shouldn't have put the jars back on the shelf, you should have taken them to the counter and told them it is illegal to sell expired foods, that if they were in Australia they'd be facing a hefty fine. Be the person that starts the change-for-the-good.
I'm pretty sure our Australian police have no jurisdiction in your country, and it's the health departments that issue fines and order shutdowns.
Kathy,
I always check anyway at Country Mart. Ever since I bought the expired cheese for my grandma's Christmas basket. I caught it before giving it to her, though! They acted like it was no big deal at the service desk, when I took it back.
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Sioux,
I'm not one to make a scene, Madam!
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Sioux 2,
NOOOO!!!!!
I WAS sitting down! I needed to be LYING DOWN! This is surely the beginning of the Apopadopalyspe, as Farmer H calls it.
NOW what am I going to buy, when packing Easter boxes for The Pony and Genius, to pretend I am not going to actually eat for myself?
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Sioux 3,
I already have sardines in mustard sauce, and Beanie Weenies!
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River,
They'd just smirk at me, and say, "We're not in Australia!" I'm not sure it's against the law here, since they do it all the time, which seems like a big risk.
Farmer H says, though, that the auction can't sell expired food for human consumption. That they always say it's for LIVESTOCK. Of course people buy it and eat it anyway. The Sun Chips he got were delicious!
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River 2,
Yeah, that's right. It's the health department that could shut them down. The health department, who made the Gas Station Chicken Store stop allowing refills five or six years ago. Then the GSCS started allowing it again recently, until this virus thing caused them to ban it now.
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