Yes. I know. It's been...
Two days since you read the first, shook your fist and maybe then cursed.
One day since I slaked your thirst, finished up just like I rehearsed.
Three days that I've dragged it out, I know it's my fault, but please hear me out.
Maybe today you'll forgive me, allow me to say that I'm sorry...
Okay. Enough appropriation of that song that perhaps Blog Buddy Sioux will recognize. I can't help it that just when I thought it was safe to go back to Country Mart's deli...the worst infraction of all was discovered.
Farmer H sliced up that baked chicken, and ate some on a night that I had part of the pork steak. When I came upstairs, I saw Farmer H balancing a paper plate with baked chicken skin and bony carcass on his leg. We KNOW how good Farmer H is at balancing things on paper plates, don't we?
"Watch out! You'll spill your chicken."
"That's okay. I'm done with it."
Let's pretend that Farmer H didn't act like it would be perfectly okay to spill chicken on the carpet. It's not like we have house dogs to come hoover it up.
"You didn't eat all of it."
"No. It was pink in the middle. I put it in the microwave, but it's still pink."
"Huh. Sometimes it gets like that along the bone."
I didn't think any more of it. Farmer H took his plate and dumped it on the back porch boards for Juno. Jack is going to learn that you snooze, you lose, when Farmer H is tossing out his garbage. I'm sure Jack got a good licking off those porch boards, though.
Anyhoo...on Thursday, I got out the chicken and put it in a roaster pan in the oven to warm it. I even forgot. It spend 20 minutes in there, at 300 degrees. You might think I had over-warmed it, and dried it out. Which happens with my fried chicken sometimes.
Anyhoo...I grabbed a slice of Nutty Oat bread, and headed to my lair. I cut into the flat part of the wing, and ate it. Hm. It was okay. Not as tasty as The Devil's chicken. Then again, it was just plain, not lemon pepper. The skin was brown, but didn't show any flavoring. In fact, the skin itself was rubbery and inedible. That's okay. It happens when you warm up a cold chicken.
I tried to twist off the drum part of the wing, but it was sturdily attached. Usually, a baked chicken falls off the bone. You can hardly get it from the warming pan onto the plate. I twisted and twisted and hacked and hacked with my knife. Nope. I just cut off some meat and ate it. Just okay.
Next, I tried to twist loose the leg. AW NOT-HEAVEN NO! It would not release. When I finally got a knife through the skin, like I was slitting open a patient for surgery...I saw that the meat was PINK! Not near a bone. PINK chicken. It wasn't done!
I shoved that carcass away from me to dole out to Jack and Juno. I suppose they'd put something on the breast of the chicken to make it brown up in their oven. But they sure didn't cook it nearly long enough!
You can bet that I am going to make a snide remark about the baked chicken, next time I go to Country Mart's deli!
Farmer H has not yet died of E. coli. I guess you'll find out whether I do if this story never comes to light. Oh, wait...
10 comments:
Raw chicken? They're selling RAW chicken?? Oh Dear God, please send them a lightning bolt. This is definitely a reason to make a complaint and you should have kept it to show them, instead of giving it to the dogs. They NEED to know they might be poisoning people.
River,
Even with the packaging, could I PROVE it was their raw chicken? Unless I cut it open right in front of them, I think not. Farmer H's chicken was already dog-gone from the previous day. I'll admit that I thought he was exaggerating, and didn't take a close look. So they might have said, "Well, you've eaten half the chicken, so it couldn't be THAT bad."
Short of trying to get on TV news, I doubt there would have been any action. Perhaps my $6.98 back. I will never buy it again, that's for sure!
I've returned EXPIRED cheese to Country Mart, with the receipt, the day after purchase, and nobody seemed surprised or concerned. I've also taken an expired jar of mayonnaise up front, to point out that it was on the shelf. I have a sneaking suspicion both the mayo and the cheese went right back to their respective shelves. I always check my dates there, but I don't take a knife to cut into the chicken!
I will broach the subject next time I'm at the deli. I go there enough that I don't want to be known as "The Woman Who Returned the Roasted Chicken." Revenge could be worse...
Totally unclothed women? On your blog? I must say I'm shocked.
However, my shock is being shoved aside by my horror... I might have to miss some school due to the corona! That has me shaking in my Crocs.
Sioux,
Heh, heh! I thought you might recognize my plagiarized parody.
I am still not convinced this is such a deadly doom scenario, when I compare the flu numbers to it. I find it shocking that so many things have been shut down, including colleges, yet the schools are still carrying on. I have a feeling you will get a vacation soon...
This made me gag! I always check my pork and chicken with a thermometer. You would think they would do that in their deli. I would announce it loud and clear for all to hear and then exit that store for the last time!
I certainly hope not. I so enjoy working with students who consider themselves half-filled vessels, so eager are they to be filled with more knowledge...
Sioux,
You can wish in one hand, and fill those half-empty vessels in the other, and see which fills up first...
Kathy,
I NEED that store! It's so close and quick, rather than the ordeal of The Devil's Playground. I can't believe they put that chicken out as edible! They had it sitting in the "warmer" section, but it does not feel any different from store temperature in there.
Oh, well. Tonight Farmer H left the sour cream sitting out on the cutting block for an hour. I complained, and he said, "I thought you were going right back to have some. It's still good!"
"Well, I don't know. It's already five days past the expiration date anyway."
I ate some. But threw the rest away.
We are more of a danger to ourselves than any coronavirus!
Here in Australia stores get FINED if they sell expired foodstuffs and staff members take turns doing shelf checks and rotating the stock, anything within a month or two of expiry goes on sale.
River,
We need FINES! I think the Country Mart chain just sold out to some southern grocery store chain. We'll see what happens.
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