I think they call ahead to tip each other off! ANOTHER entitledee found me on Monday. In Steelville, Missouri. Yes, the very next day, sixty miles away, Mrs. HM was again subjected to somebody who considered himself special.
Farmer H and I were on our way to Oklahoma. We stopped, as usual, to use the restrooms in the Steelville Casey's. Of course donuts were also in the picture, and scratchers. Farmer H had made his purchase while I was still using the facilities.
I came out to buy my scratchers. I stood at the counter while the clerk rustled around behind the scratcher case. I didn't want to be rude. I waited for her to step over and make eye contact. An old man came up behind me in line. He held a plastic coffee cup in his hand, even though a big red sign on the door said NO REFILLS DUE TO CORONAVIRUS.
As I waited for the clerk's eye contact, Old Man waved a dollar bill over the top of the scratcher case.
"While she's making up her mind."
The clerk looked at him. Took his dollar.
"I know exactly what I want. I was waiting my turn."
Heh, heh. I guess I showed HIM! Don't trifle with Mrs. HM in a Casey's line. She's over that Crazy Donut Man from back home.
"I thought there was no coffee refills," added Farmer H, my knight in second-hand scuffed armor.
Old Man went on his merry way. The clerk apologized.
"I was waiting for you to get finished."
"I know what you were doing. Some people!"
You can't really blame the clerk. I was the lesser of two evils. She was pretty sure I wouldn't make a big cranky to-do about Old Man jumping ahead. And pretty sure HE would have, if she told him to wait his turn.
I'm still waiting to inherit the earth...
4 comments:
Oh. Thank you. After reading this post, I whipped up a new, revised edition that includes line "butters" like your coffee-refill man.
I've mentioned your name in the author's note. Don't expect any monetary compensation. If you had wanted to earn some money from your intellectual gems, you could peddle them on the street corner. When you give them away like this, you snooze, you lose.
Now... how many copies of my "The Official Guide to Missouri's PITA Exceptions" would you like to order? If you order two, I'll only charge $45.
Sioux,
Well...um...I don't know...
I could be opening up a package contaminated by YOU, Madam, or perhaps a postal worker, or a dumb thief who handled it at my mailbox then put it back, after figuring out BOOKS were inside. I can't boil them to kill any pathogens. I suppose I'll have to put my purchase on hold until the all-clear is given to live life normally again. I'll take my chances on a Gas Station Chicken Store interaction, but not on mail-order.
Are you sure you WANT to inherit the earth? or what's left of the earth after the mess we've made of it?
River,
You're right. It would take a lot of upkeep! Maybe I will selflessly donate the earth to a philanthropic society. Pawn it off, in plain language.
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