Thursday, April 2, 2020

He Had One Job To Do

As we returned from town Tuesday, with Farmer H riding shotgun, I pulled up to Mailbox Row for him to get out for the mail. Imagine my surprise, as I sat in T-Hoe, still in the road, blinker on, when Farmer H started perusing the junk mail he had pulled out of EmBee! Looking through the monthly ads with fast-food coupons. Finally he got back in. As we started up the gravel road, I broached the subject.

"WHY were you looking through the junk mail while I was parked in the road?"

"LOOK! It's like a check for $10,000! It looks real. An old person could believe that it's real! But it's something about insurance."

"Sounds like you almost fell for it."

"No."

Farmer H pulled out the other mail.

"Neighbor Dog-Clipper, Neighbor Dog-Clipper, Neighbor Dogclipper's Husband..."

"Well, crap! All that time you stood there, and you didn't notice you had the wrong mail?"

"Nope."

"I'm turning around as soon as I get to the side road! You're going to put that in her mailbox, and look in hers for OUR mail, and also in the box on the other side of us for OUR mail!"

Farmer H did, but we had no mail in those two boxes. We kept the fast-food coupons.

3 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Stealing other people's mail? I think that's a federal offense.

Federal prison... How can I get my PITA to do the same? Perhaps they could be cell mates.

River said...

I'm stunned. He flipped through ALL the mail and didn't notice the ones for other people. Does he NOT look at the addresses? I throw away all my fast food coupons.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Farmer H has always said that he can NOT go to prison, because the other men would find him too attractive! I'm pretty sure your PITA would be able to resist his charms, should they become cellies.

***
River,
I think Farmer H was just looking for something good, like that time he slipped an insurance refund check into his back pocket, thinking I wouldn't notice.

The coupons are FOR Farmer H, when he eats in town. Not likely these days, though he COULD go to the drive-thru. Also, if he has to cut out the coupons himself...he seems to not mind paying full price. The last two months went unclipped, because I told him to do it himself.

Sadly, the very next day, we also got the same coupons. Guess our neighbor missed hers this month!