Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Farmer H Is Off His Feed

I think Stay-At-Home-Down is getting to Farmer H. His appetite has taken an odd turn. Farmer H refused TWO suppers involving HOT DOGS over the past two days! As you know, hot dogs are the main staple of Farmer H's basic food group: MEAT.

Oh, don't think Farmer H is obeying local and state recommendations for self-isolation. He still goes to Casey's every morning for "a" donut, as he admits. He goes to his Storage Unit Store almost every day, to take merchandise, he says. He meets people to do private sales. He eats fast-food drive-thru lunch. He DOES come home a few hours each day, to work in the BARn. So the biggest effect of Stay-At-Home-Down for Farmer H is the limited fare which I offer him for suppers.

We are making use of FRIG II's freezer contents. We've had tacos, baked chicken breasts, roasted vegetables, chicken tacos, TV dinners, chicken-and-dumplings, chicken/noodle/peas/mushrooms, and even Hardee's chicken tenders. Once a Casey's pizza. So you'd think, with the plethora of chicken Farmer H has been eating, he would welcome the offer of chili dogs, or hot dogs in baked beans, an old favorite. But no.

Last night, he chose frozen barbecued chicken chunks (cleverly called boneless wings by the marketers) and a salad.

Maybe he's rationing his hot dogs.

5 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Or perhaps he's read how many people (babies) choke on hot dogs every year? (And he doesn't want to risk choking to death, while you stand over him, observing the effects of a windpipe being cut off from oxygen...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Well, I'm glossing over the possibility of cutting hot dogs in lengths conducive to choking Farmer H, Madam, because you have given me the most scathingly brilliant idea!

I CAN INVENT A HOT DOG THAT'S HOLLOW, SO WHEN IT GETS SLICED FOR A TODDLER, IT WILL BE LIKE A MEAT LIFESAVER CANDY!

With all the profits I make, I'll commission statues of my heroic self, and paintings on the sides of buildings, and billboards, and maybe a section of highway named for me... My name could quite possibly become the third word of babies everywhere!

Sioux Roslawski said...

And I am ASSuming that you will share the profits with me, since I provided the kernel that led to this invention...

River said...

Perhaps Farmer H has been having hotdogs for his drive through lunches, so wants something different when he gets home? Or maybe he just likes seeing you running around trying to please him?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
You know full well what happens when we ASSume, Madam! I might set aside a pittance for you, after I'm done cooking the books.

***
River,
No, he gets burgers or chicken. But he USED to get hot dogs at Orb K. I don't know if they're still serving them, but they DO have a drive-thru window. I'm pretty sure he's just being persnickety to put me in my place: THE KITCHEN! I give him 4 choices, and he pauses like they aren't good enough. Then in the next moment he'll say, "I'll eat anything." Typical Farmer H.