Saturday, April 18, 2020

Poor Pitiful Put-Upon Mrs. Hillbilly Mom

Of course that gadabout Farmer H roams freely through Hillmomba, even during Stay-At-Home-Down, leaving Mrs. HM holding the bag while holding down the fort. That's not breaking news. I'm not worried about you shattering a jaw from disbelief.

Two days ago, Farmer H declared that the Mansion heat pump was struggling. We were in heat mode at the time, though we've had the air conditioning on a couple nights when daytime temps got into the 80s. I agreed that the cycle seemed to go on forever. Not much kicking off. We've had constant issues with leaky Freon. Every couple of years, Farmer H calls a repairman, who only finds low Freon, adds more, and charges us several hundred dollars for Freon and a house call. It's not as if we're going to load our unit into T-Hoe and rush to an Urgent HVAC Care.

Anyhoo...you know the drill. The usual heating and cooling company that Farmer H uses is locked down. No employees working. Lucky for us, Farmer H has other contacts who work for other companies who are a bit more lax in their perception of essential businesses. He called one, who got him a slot within two days.

That's the problem. They were due to arrive Friday. Farmer H's busiest day is Friday! He tries to secretly sell (by appointment only) items at his Storage Unit Store. He gets a shot (now on the parking lot) from his nurse practitioner. He shoots the bull at an auto parts store with his cronies. And THIS Friday, he was taking his friend to her chemotherapy appointment, then picking her up again 3.5 hours later.

So...he told the H/C people that he needed a visit between 8:00-10:00, or 12:00-2:00. Of course he didn't hear anything the night before, or Friday morning. After several texts, Farmer H was told that they'd be here at 2:30. He had to leave at 1:30 to pick up his chemo friend over in Bill-Paying Town. He said he should be home by 2:30.

Well. What was I supposed to do? I can't hear them from my dark basement lair, because the doorbell doesn't work when we need it. Even if I heard them pounding on the front door, by the time I got my knees in gear and hobbled up the 13 rail-less steps, they'd be gone! So I sent Farmer H a text at 2:00, the time he was supposed to pick up his friend after chemo, to say that I'd sit upstairs until 2:30, in case the H/C men came early.

At 2:30, Farmer H called me.

"She hasn't come out yet. If they get there, it's okay to let them in. They're good guys. They won't rob you."

Of course at that very moment, their van came up the driveway...

More tomorrow.

4 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I'm ASSuming the "good guys" didn't do something else heinous to you (robbing is the worst he could imagine?) since you wrote this post and left us on the edge of a cliff...

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I have lived to finish telling the tale. Though it is not outside the realm of plausibility that Farmer H was actually sending hit men to pretty sure try to kill me...

River said...

I don't even know what a heat pump is. I have a reverse cycle air conditioner which cools in the summer and warms in the winter, all I need to do is switch it from Cool, to Heat on the remote control, then set the preferred temperature. I called the company once, a while ago, to find out if these things ever needs re-gassing, like car air conditioners do. He said no. So all I do for it is to clean the filters a few times a year.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Yes, that's the same thing. They don't need re-gassing unless they have a SLOW LEAK that a repairman will TELL you about, but NOT FIND, so you keep calling him back for many years, paying for his services! Farmer H is lax about cleaning or replacing filters. You'd think he'd know better. It's kind of what he did for a living for 30 years.