Friday, April 10, 2020

Like Waving A Red Flag At A Bull

On the way home from our phone-buying mission Wednesday, I was behind the wheel of T-Hoe. Once we were off the highway, doing town errands, I'd had enough of hoisting myself in and out the passenger side. After all, the muscles on the OTHER side of my body are well-developed from my former daily travels.

Coming out of town with my 44 oz Diet Coke, we got trapped behind a small gray pickup truck. It was stuffed with at least two adults, and three kids in the club cab jump seat area. That guy only drove 20 mph down our blacktop county road.

"Look at this guy! I swear he's looking for someplace to dump that trash bag he has in the back. Why else would he be going so slow? Most people drive at least 45 along here. I bet he pulls into our gravel road! Just watch."

It's not like Farmer H had anything else to do but watch. Sure enough, as we came down the hill to Mailbox Row, that gray truck turned onto our gravel road. To make matters worse, there was already a car parked right under the NO TRESPASSING sign, with a man and woman, and their bulldog on a leash.

"I KNEW IT! Look at this! I bet they know each other. They're gonna have a big ol' party here on our creek! The creek is free to anyone, but they don't have the right to park on our road! Right under the sign, too! They're not six feet apart, either!"

They were FLAUNTING themselves! Kicked back in canvas camp chairs with drink holders, having a gay old time SELF-NOT-QUARANTINING! I'll be ding dang donged if I spend a whole week (by that I mean 5 days) at home without a 44 oz Diet Coke and scratchers, while these scofflaws party their rumpuses off down by MY CREEK!

"Get out your phone! Take a picture of them! Maybe they'll get paranoid and leave. Wait! Put your window down, and say 'Oh, where do you live? I haven't met everyone on our road yet.'"

"No. I'm not doing that, HM. They're just having their lunch."

"Call our Dog-Grooming Neighbor. I bet SHE will come down here and document their presence!"

Farmer H did not. As we went by, I slowed T-Hoe to a crawl. Gave them the stinkeye. And do you know what that camp-chair guy had the nerve to do?

HE WAVED!

Sweet Gummi Mary! Of all the insolent actions he could conceive, this one set me off. It's not like they were DOING anything. Though I suspect they were going to leave their fast-food trash littering the creekside. The pickup people might have felt guilty. I watched in my mirror, and that little truck started backing up.

I have a bad case of STAY-HOME RAGE.

4 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I'm with you. If I can't have fun--out and about--neither should anyone else.

(And your stinkeye? It must have lost its power. You know what would help bring it back to its former strength? Subbing. You could sub next school year, so you could give the stinkeye many, many times every day.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I do fear that my stinkeye may have weakened from disuse. I would rather poke 10 needles in my eye (5 of them breathed on by Farmer H) rather than substitute.

What a year to be a teacher! You have virtually been living a life of RETIREMENT, while filling your empty vessels over the innernets!

River said...

If they're family, they don't have to be six feet away from each other, that's if they are from the same household. I suppose they thought an afternoon away from everywhere else would be okay and I tend to agree with them on that, but if they leave their rubbish then shame on them. Here we are still allowed to go to beaches as long as we stay six feet apart, except for family groups from the same household. there are police patrols everywhere making sure people aren't too close together.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
We are only supposed to be out for "essential" activities like doctor, prescriptions, groceries, work. I don't think lolling about on the banks of somebody else's creek counts, though if it wasn't MY creek, I wouldn't see a problem with it!

The state parks are closed. The pavilion at the local lake is roped off with yellow caution tape, but I've seen walkers on the path around it, and a fisherman in a boat near the bank. Farmer H was going to park on the lot to eat a hamburger while waiting on his prescriptions, but a cop followed him and gave him the stinkeye, so he just drove around. Apparently a cop's stinkeye is more potent than mine.