From the writer/actor who brought you "Puttin' Off the Ritz," and "Like Squatter for Chocolate," there's a new limited release. This one is called "The Neverending Sorry."
Perhaps you recall that The Pony has been a bit remiss in throwing away his trash. Trash like the entire Ritz Cracker box left behind after he ate the remaining three crackers inside. Trash like the empty bag from my selection of DOVE chocolates when he ate the last two, those being the milk chocolate and the caramel.
Well. There was another candy container left on the exact same basement chair, right beside the DOVE bag. It was a box that had, on my birthday, held 18 Ferrero Rocher round chocolate candies. It was an assortment of three kinds. Hazelnut, Dark Chocolate, and Coconut with White Chocolate.
Anyhoo... the hazelnut had been gone for a while, except for ONE. I ate the others at a rate of one per night. But I left that last hazelnut for The Pony. When he carried down my lunch tray on Friday, I pointed out that there was still a hazelnut ball left.
"Oh. I didn't want to take your last one."
"No, it's okay. I've been saving it for YOU."
I heard him coming back up the basement steps.
"I don't see that box in your hand. Don't tell me! You left IT there, too!"
"To be fair, I got my candy on the way to your office, and then forgot to bring the box back up. I'll get it now."
You're not going to believe what I noticed on Friday night. Oh. Yes. Yes you ARE going to believe it.
THE EMPTY DOVE BAG WAS STILL ON THE CHAIR!
I mentioned this fact to The Pony on Saturday, as I was readying my lunch to go down.
"Pony! I can't believe you brought up the empty box from the hazelnut candy, and STILL didn't bring up the DOVE bag!"
"Oh. Wait. I didn't? Sorry..."
Here's something else that you will fully believe:
IT'S STILL THERE NOW!
While it's a bone of contention for ME, it's a good thing that The Pony is not currently engineering your chemicals.
5 comments:
It is indeed good he doesn't have a job that could result in a life or death situation if he got lax with the details.
I guess he could get a job sampling chocolates... making sure triangle tubs are properly installed... ensuring car seats are stain-prooof by eating in the car and dropping globs of food.
Yes, that's the ticket! That's the kind of jobs he needs to apply for.
I'm totally lost for words, gobsmacked in fact. How could he? Aaaarrrgh!!
Sioux,
Let's not forget testing the spillage quotient of 2-liter Pepsi bottle spouts, and carrying a tray and 3 large cups down 13 stairs without a rail!
I'd say "garbage man" is not in his future.
***
River,
IT'S STILL THERE! Today he just shrugged when interrogated over it. I will have to be QUITE SPECIFIC with my orders, next trip down those steps.
While I like Sioux's job suggestions, they would also need an eye for attention. I guess he couldn't harm anyone, though!
Kathy,
If it paid better (more than $0 per hour), and wasn't so pervy, he could sit in restroom stalls and hand out spare squares of TP under the divider.
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