Thursday, April 22, 2021

I'm A KEEPER All Right

Oh, dear. Our resident archaeologist has unearthed another expired foodstuff. 

The Pony was put in charge of getting a new set of telephones for the Mansion. In preparation for his trip to the Devil's Playground, he went into our bedroom to look at the main phone of the 4-piece set. The one with an answering machine thingy on its charging base.

Not sure what other snooping he was doing while he was in our boudoir. It's not like we keep the door closed. He can go in there any time and pilfer through our stuff while I'm in town and Farmer H is in parts unknown or on a medical date with his Cancer Girlfriend. But THIS TIME, The Pony came out of the bedroom and said,

"You'll never guess what I found over on your brown desk."

"No. Probably not."

"A chocolate fish!"


"A chocolate fish! Want me to go get it?"

"If you want. I'm sure it's under several inches of dust."


"Here. Look. I wonder if it's still good."

"What's the date?"

"I couldn't find one."

"Chocolate doesn't go bad."

"Yeah. It probably has those white spots on it. Like the expired candy we used to get at the Russell Stover outlet on the way to Silver Dollar City."

"Well, that candy was only two years past date. At most. I don't know about this one, but it has to be at least 8-10 years old. Back when Genius was still here. I guess Dad gave it to me."

"I don't remember that, but I probably did."

"Well. I'm not opening it right now. I'll let you have it when I do."

"I don't want it!"

Heh, heh. I bet The Pony's 2nd Bestie would eat it! It may be more than a year old, but at least it hasn't been on the floor of The Pony's car. AND it's completely wrapped. Unlike that chocolate chip cookie she devoured...

Let the record show that I AM a keeper! A keeper of items way past their expiration dates.


Sioux Roslawski said...

Hopefully that old chocolate tastes better than the branches (that frame the fish) would taste.

You should send The Pony back into your bedroom. He might find a million-dollar winner of a lottery ticket.

River said...

You can't leave me hanging like this! Unwrap that fish and tell me if it looks and tastes okay.

Hillbilly Mom said...

That just CRAZY TALK!!! I would NEVER leave a lottery ticket lying around! That's something a Neanderthal might do, because I imagine lottery tickets back then were made of stone, and kind of heavy to lug around, so one might have been set aside while protecting the cave from a rampaging woolly mammoth.

Ten-year-old chocolate fish, on the other hand, are probably commonplace items discovered in bedrooms. I wouldn't be surprised if half the homes in Hillmomba are harboring them.

I will set up a special pictorial to document the reveal. When my assistant is available.