Sunday, April 4, 2021

An Evening Of Invisible Airwaves With Genius

There might be a couple of interesting tales coming down the pike. PIKE! Not pipe. That's Genius's terminology. This is not a sewage treatment facility. Our news comes down the PIKE. Then again, it might not be any more interesting than the usual slop you get here. In fact, you're not even going to get it here. It will be on my not-so-secret blog, in a few days. Guess you'll have to go there for your news needs. As for here, I'll give you a teaser...

The Pony was fingerprinted! In Casino Town!

But enough of that. It's how rumors get started. Instead of delving into that matter, you will be treated to a Genius communication from Friday night. I hear from him about once every six weeks, when something is needed from me by him.

You may recall that I send Genius (and his roommate Friend) a holiday treat box, which includes snacks and lottery tickets. I also send him two scratchers every week. Lately, I've been sending him three, because he likes the $3 crossword and bingo tickets. He keeps his winners until he has a stockpile, and then he mails them to me for redemption, and I send him a check. Which of course I have to reimburse the house money fund, since I use the winners to cash in as I buy myself new scratchers.
 
Tuesday, I sent Genius a text:
 
"Mailed your Easter box. Should arrive Friday. Sadly, it contains jerky, and four sausages, and lottery tickets, since you're on the keto and don't want candy."
 
"Cool. I'll watch out for it. We will put those tickets in the mail today or tomorrow."
 
"Okay. The check is in the letter I mailed Thursday."
 
"I got it yesterday."

Anyhoo... Genius had said that he had $190 in winners. So I'd enclosed that check in his last letter. But Friday, I got a text from him.
 
"I have a dilemma sending these tickets back. One of them is a $30 ticket, and it's too large for any envelope, AND it's a $100 winner. Do you think the top part above the scratching could be folded over?"
 
"Yes. As long as the scan part is okay."
 
"Alright. I just rescanned all the tickets Friend manually counted before, and it's actually $269."
 
"That's why I always scan. I had a $50 winner that I thought was only $20. I will send the difference next week."
 
"That's fine. We got the Easter box. Haven't scratched the tickets yet."
 
"Okay. Good luck. My luck was terrible over the days I bought Easter tickets. I figure one of you got my luck." [Including The Pony]
 
"We will be scratching them tonight, I think. I'll let you know."
 
"Okay. Sounds like a great Friday night! Have a drink for me."
 
"It's been an exciting Friday. I got a Costco membership. It was like going to Sam's as a kid."
 
"Wow! Movin' on up. Like the Jeffersons. You already have the deeeeluxe apartment in the sky."
 
"Now the issue is we don't have enough space for all the bulk goods I want to buy at Costco."
 
"Don't buy the giant can of Beefarino for your borrowed Hansom cab horse Rusty!"
 
Funny how Genius quit responding. I KNOW he knew what I was talking about. He was always a Seinfeld fan.
 
I hope that doesn't mean he actually bought a giant can of Beefarino... 
__________________________________________________________________

16 seconds - Kramer feeds Rusty the Beefarino
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugazcvzOM0Q

42 seconds - Kramer's Price Club purchases
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyNh8BNEXrs
___________________________________________________________________

3 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

Poor Susan's parents. They got the bad end of Rusty...

River said...

What the heck is Beefarino? It doesn't sound like something a horse should eat. I laughed when I saw Kramers car full of stuff, reminded me of the days I shopped for four kids, reminded me even more of shopping with my daughter with two teenagers and a hard working husband. Easily $400 per week and she spent a LOT of time cooking and assembling lunches and dinners.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
Yes, and they were robbed of a Marble Rye, too! Though not like an innocent old lady on the street.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfuuXwQMDyE

***
River,
I think it's a twist of "BEEFARONI," which comes in a regular size can by Chef Boyardee. It's like macaroni and cheese, but with beef and tomato sauce. Definitely not for a horse!

Kids gotta eat! And husbands too, I guess...