Friday, October 15, 2021

Extreme RumpusHolery In Hillmomba

You know how easygoing Mrs. HM is, right? So shy and timid that she doesn't complain when people step in front of her in line. Doesn't take back damaged foods from the drive-thru line. Will not call out haughty rudeness from customer service personnel. She makes lemonade out of those sour lemons, scathingly dragging them over hot coals in her supersecret blog.

Thursday, Mrs. HM reached her breaking point.

I was in the Gas Station Chicken Store, having parked T-Hoe in the space at the side of the building near the FREE AIR hose. Thus leaving the handicap space behind T-Hoe vacant for those who may need it more. A light rain had started. I procured my magical elixir and scratchers, and returned to T-Hoe. No cars around that side of the building. Nobody pumping diesel fuel at the pump on that side.

I was writing CH on the back of my tickets, so I'd know where a potential winner came from. CH stands for CHICKEN. A big winner would mean that I wouldn't buy that ticket there for a week or so. Anyhoo... I put the tickets in my purse, and was strapping on my seatbelt when

A BLACK TRUCK PULLING A CAMPER TRAILER CUT ACROSS T-HOE'S BOW!

I thought he was just leaving out the back alley. DANG THIS GUY! He was way too close. I was afraid he was going to scrape T-Hoe's right front bumper area with the side of that camper! Camper-pullers are not nearly so skilled as semi truck drivers. They can get very close, but you know they're not hitting you, just steering the right angle to get their big truck though a turn. I had my hand hovering over the horn, the right hand turning the key to back up out of the way, when

THE BLACK TRUCK STOPPED WITH THE CAMPER ANGLED 2 INCHES FROM T-HOE, AND THE DRIVER GOT OUT!!!
 
That rumpushole was walking toward the FREE AIR hose! He had deliberately BLOCKED ME IN so he could put air in his precious camper tires!
 
The end of that camper extended past T-Hoe's passenger door. I wish I would have taken a picture right there, but I was SO MAD, and in so much of a hurry to back up before some handicapper parked there and pinned me in, that I just backed up to get around that camper and off the Gas Station Chicken Store parking lot.
 
Let the record show that Mrs. HM was cussin' a blue streak! I know that rumpushole heard me through T-Hoe's closed window. I HOPE he heard me. I did not call him a rumpushole. That was too nice for him.
 
I was absolutely shaking with rage! I think steam was coming out my ears. My face felt red as a fire engine. My blood pressure probably shot high enough to ring the bell on one of those carnival hammer games.
 
I was heading over to Dairy Queen for the BBQ Chicken Strip Basket that I'd been looking forward to all day. And let me tell you, what a day it had BEEN, up to this point. This was just the rotten cherry on top. I was just starting to calm down as I pulled out of the street between DQ and my pharmacy, BBQ Chicken Strips wafting a pleasant aroma from their bag on the passenger seat, when I spied THAT STINKIN' RUMPUSHOLE at the stoplight up ahead!
 
 
Yes. I took a picture while driving 12 mph in the turn lane. I actually took TWO pictures, but my phone is apparently rumpushole sympathetic, and the closer one didn't snap. But I'm zooming in!

 
Too bad his license plate is unreadable. I could have called to report him for driving with only one headlight!
 
I'm pretty sure he saw me taking his picture. Heh, heh! Maybe that enraged him! He headed toward Country Mart. I don't know any other reason to go up that road. If he'd made a right turn at the light, he would have been able to get on the highway within 100 feet, and drive north to the state park less than 10 miles away. 

I didn't turn around to go block him in. I had my BBQ Chicken Strips whispering EAT ME!

Whatever happened to that old thing called WAIT YOUR FREAKIN' TURN IF SOMEBODY IS PARKED AT THE AIR HOSE AREA AHEAD OF YOU???

4 comments:

River said...

Oy, what a day! I have days like that when I tell the cat "if one more bad thing happens, I'm going straight back to bed!"
Did the BBQ chicken strips help calm you down at all? Did your scratchers have any decent wins?
I hope that driver gets two flat tyres and then discovers he doesn't have even one spare.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Those chicken strips were the best EVER! Large and meaty, not all batter. So yes, I calmed down after strapping on the old feedbag. Maybe I was just HANGRY, as the Snickers commercials show people not really being themselves...

My scratchers were sad, only $3 and $6 winners. That's okay. A few days ago I won $50 on a $5 crossword ticket. Thanks for ill-wishing on the RUMPUSHOLE!!!

Sioux Roslawski said...

Time after time, you fail to recognize these people. These people are the exceptions. They are the "we-don-t-have-to-follow-the-rules" people. They are special.

What, do they need a button or name tag for you to realize who they are?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I guess I have bad RumpusHoleDar. They need a flashing arrow over their head as they go through life, so I can see them and avoid them. A button or name tag would not be sufficient.