Never let it be said that Mrs. HM is reluctant to over-share! Apologies in advance to those of you who will need brain bleach after reading...
Farmer H had a medical procedure on Thursday morning. Without going into too much detail, lets just say that he had a wire inserted into his body, with an electrical stimulation thingy. So right now, he has a big patch on his lower back, over his left rumpus cheek, with a wire coming out the top of the bandage, hooked to an electrical thingy on a velcro belt. He has a cell-phone-like thingy that works on bluetooth, according to The Pony, to set the level of stimulation.
Anyhoo... with that being on his back, Farmer H had no idea what it looked like. He is forbidden to get that area wet for two weeks. So if he wants an actual shower, he has to be wrapped in plastic cling-wrap to make it waterproof. He's been trying to figure out the conformation of this area. He was instructed NOT TO REMOVE THE BANDAGE. And that if it started coming loose, to tape the edges.
Anyhoo... I took a picture to show him. The bottom right corner of his 4" x 4" bandage is quite close to the top of his rumpus-crack. Two days after the surgery, his skin has become less swelled, so the clear patch of glue over the entire bandage is a bit wrinkly. A small sliver along the edge of the right bottom side has a little crinkle like it came loose. Less than a millimeter width. It's not peeling off.
Anyhoo... Farmer H saw this, and keeps saying he has a wire going into his rumpus-crack! NO. He does NOT. It's the whitish edge of that glue patch. The wire is black, obviously a WIRE, and comes out the TOP of the bandage, where it hooks to the gizmo on that velcro belt. Yet Farmer H has voiced his concern several times about that wire going into his rumpus-crack. About how he can avoid hitting it when wiping his rumpus.
Stop that hardy-har-har-ing! Yes! We all KNOW that even if it WAS a wire, it would be in no danger from Farmer H's rumpus-wiping!
Anyhoo... Farmer H is getting around just fine. He refused any pain medicine upon discharge, even though the doctor offered, because most of them make him nauseous. In fact, he has not even taken an over-the-counter acetaminophen. He drove the Gator the very afternoon of the surgery. And resumed driving A-Cad the next day to go to his Storage Unit Store. He'd be in SilverRedO, except SilverRedO had the trailer hitched behind him for hauling a lawnmower to Pony House.
Yes, Farmer H is doing fine. Other that thinking there's a wire in his rumpus-crack.
5 comments:
Sounds like he's doing fine for someone who had a wire coming out of his rumpus-crack. Yowsa! What a trooper. I hope it does whatever it's supposed to do for him. Sounds a bit uncomfortable. I'm guessing it's nerve related? Good luck Hick. Ranee (MN)
Rae,
Heh, heh! If only I could convince him that the wire is coming out of his BACK, and is not near his rumpus! I'm sure it's uncomfortable leaning back when sitting, and trying to sleep with that patch and wire. Next Friday they will evaluate whether it's working. The purpose is to pee less often than 20 times a day, which is what he said was happening. Though to me, an electronic stimulator thingy would seem to make it happen MORE often!
"He refused any pain medicine upon discharge." I know what you meant by discharge, but for a horrifying moment, I envisioned a discharge coming from his rumpus.
Fun times for you...
How did you know I was Hardy-har-har-ing? And wondering what on earth needs stimulating! Peeing twenty times a day doesn't sound good. I hope this helps with that. Perhaps the bladder is being stimulated into holding more somehow.
Sioux,
Well, I DID apologize in advance! For once, Farmer H's rumpus is innocent of all charges (and discharges).
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River,
I just had a feeling that hardy-har-har-ing would be a common reaction of those who "know" Farmer H. I don't understand how STIMULATING the bladder can stop it from peeing so often, but that is the premise of this procedure.
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