Tuesday, August 16, 2022

It Takes A Village To Raise Farmer H

Farmer H is having a medical procedure on Thursday morning. It necessitates knocking him out. Not like in the very olden days, when barbers were surgeons, and hired a boxer the literally knock out the patient. No, this knock-out is just general anesthesia. Farmer H has had it before. He takes a long time to  wake up. 

The Pony will be driving him the 30 miles to the facility. Farmer H has to be there by 6:30 a.m. So The Pony won't be getting much rest on his day off, which he specifically requested for this date. The Pony is a good egg.

Farmer H got a packet of instructions last week. They had told him verbally, but I'm pretty sure Farmer H is not the only patient that needs written reminders for a wife to look over. It probably keeps that facility's legal expenses in check.

I reminded Farmer H of the instructions, and made him look over the five pages while I watched. It told him which medications to stop for a week before the procedure. One that they highlighted and circled was ASPIRIN, but there was also a full-page list with three columns of drugs. They included Aleve and ibuprofen. I know Farmer H takes these for his hip, and muscle soreness. 

"Well, they didn't mention those to me, but I see them on this list. They didn't mark them. But I'll stop taking them for a week."

As far as I know, Farmer H was complying with the instructions. But when he left the Mansion on Monday morning, I detected the distinct odor of BenGay in his wake. He had already escaped to SilverRedO, and was out of the driveway on his way to Back-Creek Neighbor Bev's house before it dawned on me. So he'd be incommunicado until late afternoon. There's no cell service at Bev's, it being the middle-er of nowhere than the Mansion.

I noticed a roll-on tube of Icy Hot on the bathroom sink. I guess the BenGay ran out. I was pretty sure both of them contain ASPIRIN. Which is salicylic acid. A quick check showed that Icy Hot contains methyl salicylate. Which acts like ASPIRIN in thinning the blood.

When Farmer H got home, he was out back fiddling about with Poolio. I hollered down to tell him NOT to use Icy Hot before his procedure. And remind him that if he told them he used it, they would cancel his procedure and reschedule, per the packet of instructions.

Farmer H says he's keeping mum about the Icy Hot. I'm pretty sure the effects will be minimal, since his body will have had 72 hours to metabolize that one application of it. It's not like they're going to slice him from stem to stern and use a rib-spreader to pry him open. It should be a fairly small incision.

I think the slow-waking-up will be more of an issue.

3 comments:

Sioux Roslawski said...

I guess that means you will have a peaceful morning, without Farmer H clomping around...

River said...

I am a slow waker-upper from General as well. I had major surgery once and took just over 24 hours to wake up, had them scared a bit.
I hope Farmer H doesn't suffer too much aching etc with the lack of his usual medications.

I'll take your mind of it with this from today's newspaper here:
'in New Zealand a couple bought some suitcases from a sale of abandoned storage unit goods. When they got them home and opened them, they contained human body parts.'

Hillbilly Mom said...

Sioux,
I will probably still be awake when they leave, to give a final hug. Oh, and a hug for Farmer H, too.

***
River,
I don't know if Farmer H has taken a full 24 hours. He had a titanium plate put in his neck, and my favorite gambling aunt took me to the hospital to wait on the surgery. When he was back in his room, we tried and tried to talk to him. He didn't make any sense, and kept nodding off. The nurse verified that he did this the whole time they were trying to wake him up. At least they were monitoring his vitals. We gave up communicating, and went to a casino!

Farmer H was very groany today. Then again, we had rain, and my own joints were hurting. Plus I've had a headache for two days. I attribute it to the weather. My neck is all crackly at the base of my skull. At least my hip is less painful.

YIKES to the suitcase couple! I don't even think Farmer H could turn a profit off of THAT! Unless they were really good suitcases...