Oh, The LIVIDITY!

No. We are not discussing the blood settling to the lowest portion of a corpse. We are discussing the all-consuming ire of Mrs. Hillbilly Mom, making her blood pressure shoot up like red-colored alcohol in a thermometer on the floor of Death Valley at high noon.

The time has come, Ms HM said, 

To talk of many things.

Of care and bills in hospitals, 

And insurance it brings.

And why HM is boiling hot, 

About some foul ka-chings.

 

On August 5, Farmer H brought in the mail. It included a bill from a major hospital system. Quite strange, since my most recent stint in a hospital ended February 3. In fact, those dates I was being billed for services WERE in February. And one in January. 

I have no problem paying bills I actually owe. But something was fishy with this bill. It was divided into three sections. 

Section 1 was a bill for a physician at the ER in Hillmomba. I agree that I was treated by a physician at that ER. I thought I had already paid it. In fact, I had a statement from my insurance showing it had been billed in March, and the amount I was responsible for. The adjusted amount, insurance-paid amount, and due amount were identical to that Explanation of Benefits I had received. So it had been already been processed in March. 

 

I imagine it was part of a giant payment I made in May when the major hospital system sent me an UN-ITEMIZED bill, which I paid. That was after calling two people at the hospital billing office, who would only answer questions about specific charges I questioned. Which you don't KNOW what to ask about, not having an itemized bill!!!

Section 2 was divided into three charges on three consecutive days, for a physician at the Bill-Paying Town hospital. I agree that I was treated by this physician, on those dates. But this did NOT show any insurance payment. It only showed an adjusted amount. Surely if it had gone through insurance, there would have been an insurance amount paid, or showing $0.00. So maybe that "adjustment" might have been the percent the major hospital system takes off for uninsured patients. Again, I don't know if this was part of my other already-paid bill from the major hospital system. Since I didn't get an itemized bill!!!

 

Section 3 was for a regular office visit with my nurse practitioner, the follow-up a week after I was released from the hospital. It showed the amount charged, the adjustment, and the amount insurance paid. I know I didn't pay my co-pay at the office, because they said they were not set up to take payments, due to the VIRUS. But they'd bill me. Again, I don't know if this was part of my other already-paid bill from the major hospital system. Since I didn't get an itemized bill!!! 

Sound complicated? We've only just begun.

Of course this bill arrived on a Friday, late as our mail is, and I couldn't call until Monday. So I spent the weekend stewing in my own juices.

Monday I called the major hospital system. Waited 15 minutes listening to their propaganda and Muzak. Got a nice young man named Andrew who was not really much help. He listened. He seemed to understand my questions. But could not explain why Section 1 and Section 3 showed that my insurance had paid their portion, yet Section 2 showed nothing about insurance.

"Did you actually BILL my insurance for those physician charges? What has been adjusted? It makes no mention of insurance."

"I'm sure your insurance was billed."

"How do I know? Maybe it WASN'T billed. Or maybe it was rejected, because I NO LONGER HAVE THAT INSURANCE. My coverage ended July 1, when my employers switched carriers."

"I'm sure they were all billed at the same time."

"Well, I'm NOT so sure. Because all the OTHER charges from this hospitalization were billed by the end of March. So maybe you didn't bill in a timely manner, and my insurance won't pay."

"I suggest that you call your insurance, and ask why they didn't pay."

Oh, he was slick! Don't get me wrong. He was perfectly polite, and not unpleasant to talk to. But I'm pretty sure he was following protocol to not admit anything that I didn't have PROOF of. HOWEVER, he offered, for my convenience, you see, to take partial payment RIGHT THEN over the phone!

As I've said, I have no problem with paying a bill I actually owe. So I agreed to pay Section 1 and Section 3 amounts with my debit card. I had no desire to mail in a check for the partial amount, and then have to call back and explain when they said I didn't pay it all and sent another bill. Andrew said he would put a note in my file showing that I was disputing the charges with my insurance company.

I called my insurance company, and their automated system told me my coverage had ended June 30. But it DID give me an option to talk to a person. Just as I got to the meat of the matter, my cell phone disconnected me. Have I mentioned that my cell phone doesn't work very well inside the Mansion? And my landline has a buzzy sound that Farmer H says he can check by plugging a thingy into the line, but hasn't done so over the past 2-3 years?

I was fed up with phoning for the day. So I waited until I cooled down. Trying to decide if I should park at the end of the driveway and call from T-Hoe on my cell phone. Or take a chance on Buzzy-the-Landline. Then other stuff came up. So I didn't call until yesterday.

Buzzy was the choice. I called from the kitchen table. After a minimal wait, I got a real live person, Angela. She was SO nice. Good thing. Because we chatted from 2:45 until 3:41. And she STILL couldn't solve my problem. Couldn't see the charges I was calling about. Only a few NEAR the amount, on the same days. So either the major hospital system didn't bill the insurance, or they were attempting to double-bill. Did I mention they've done that to me three times before? All of which I got straightened out and did NOT pay twice. Thanks to them being single charges, with an itemized bill and reference number.

Angela did everything but backflips in her effort to decipher the mess. But if it's not showing a billing, then she can't pull one out of thin air. 

OHHHHHHHH! Did I mention that I had an Explanation of Benefits from the insurance, dated from the end of March, showing that I HAD MET MY DEDUCTIBLE FOR THE YEAR? So why was I being charged ANYTHING now?

I mentioned it to Angela. She giggled, a mature African American past-middle-age giggle, and said, "Oh, you WOULD do that to me!" Yes. Yes I would. I even warned her beforehand: "Now to further complicate matters..."

Angela delved into that matter. She assured me every five minutes or so that she was still looking, that she hadn't hung up. For which I thanked her, explaining that I thought my phone might have cut me off.

The gist of the deductible matter was that these late charges were for a time BEFORE I had met my deductible in March. Which to me still means that I overpaid in March, since these late charges would have put me at the deductible before then!

Anyhoo... after taking so much time trying to help me, Angela could not. I thanked her for her patience, and she assured me that it was no problem, because without people like me, she wouldn't have a job. I so enjoy doing my part to keep other people working. I'm selfless like that.

Angela's only suggestion was that I try to get a detailed bill from the major hospital system. Sheesh! She and Andrew were like Mom and Dad giving the runaround, saying to ask the other.

I figure I'm just going to pay the rest of that bill. Which amounts to $234. AND 63 CENTS! It's not enough to break me. I still don't think I owe it. But I don't relish taking more hours out of my life to sit on the end of a buzzy or cut-offy phone, trying to explain myself all over again.

Life's a b!tch. Then you go to the hospital...