The Lividity Increases Exponentially

Life's a b!tch. Then you go to the hospital. THEN you have to deal with shoddy billing practices!!!

 

Sweet Gummi Mary! I'm trying to deal with disputed charges with both hands, both legs, one ear, and half of the major hospital system representative's brain tied behind my back! I think the other half of his brain must have been up his own rumpus.

As I excruciatingly detailed a few days ago, I was billed on August 8 for medical treatment on Jan 31, and Feb 1, 2, 3. I'm pretty sure one item was double-billed, having paid it in March. But I was willing to pay it again. Just in case. Because the major hospital system wouldn't give me an itemized bill.

Anyhoo... without rehashing the whole experience, on the day I called, the rep said he'd take my information if I wanted to make partial payment by phone. So I gave it to him. Thinking the part of the bill I was not disputing had been paid. After getting no usable info after an hour on the phone with my insurance rep, I decided to just pay the remainder and get it over with.

Monday, I called back to the major hospital system, to talk to a rep about my account, and then pay the remainder of the statement by phone. Of course I could not get a real live person! Not even though I was willing to wait on hold for an hour. That was not an option. 

 

The automated system kept sending me to voicemail. Telling me to leave my information, and a representative would return my call within 24 hours. SURE. Mrs. Hillbilly Mom was not born yesterday. She has put her trust in the 24-hour promise WAY TOO MANY times! Even IF this magical unicorn telecommunication came through, it was bound to be while I was driving, or in Country Mart which is a black hole of Sprint. No way was I feeling like phone tag for the rest of the week.

So... I called back to the number to make a payment by phone. Imagine my surprise when the recording said that I owed the full amount of the statement! Well. Perhaps it was keyed to the statement number, and was just repeating the total. I punched in all my account information, and it said PAYMENT ACCEPTED. Read back my amount, and gave me a confirmation number. Done deal. Right? RIGHT?

YOU KNOW DANG WELL IT WASN'T!

Tuesday night, I called my bank's automated line, just to balance my checkbook register. The $234.63 I had just paid the previous day was pending. Not unusual. I knew it was in the system, ready to go. I listened to my other charges, ticking them off one by one. For once, there were no surprised that had gone undocumented by Farmer H. Back and back I went, until I got to my previous balance point. Everything ticked off, except that $87.01 that I had paid the major hospital rep over the phone on August 8.

Ain't THAT a fine how-do-you-do?

So... I called back to my bank's automated line, to get the option to inquire about a specific amount. Of course they've updated that system lately, and it wouldn't give me that choice. But it DID put me through to talk to a real live person at 10:00 p.m., with only a 5-minute wait. The gal I got was quite polite. She looked at my account. Said she didn't see any transaction for $87.01. Not from Aug 1-23. 

I asked if, should I pay it again on an automated system, there was a program that would kick out the identical amount if it was charged to my account twice.

"No. But if that happens, you can call us, and we can help dispute those charges for you."

Well. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyhoo... I called the major hospital's number to pay by phone. The automated system told me that I owed $87.01 on that statement! So I paid it with my debit card. THEN that system had the nerve to ask if I wanted to make a payment on another statement while I was on the phone.

NOT-HEAVEN NO!