Mrs. Hillbillky Mom, In Need Of A White Cane, Guide Dog, And Tin Cup, Is Not Worthy Of Riding Shotgun With Farmer H.

We went to the casino on Wednesday, taking The Pony on a day off. It was a fun trip, but the ride back was not so fun. We encountered a horrific rainstorm. We could see it as we approached. Could see the demarcation of the shade line from the storm clouds. One minute we were in bright afternoon sunlight, the next in a gloomy shade leading into a downpour.

You know Mrs. HM does not have much trust in Farmer H's driving techniques on a CLEAR day! So imagine the stress of fearing for one's life in a dark rainstorm. All the cars and semi trucks put on their flashers, so as to be visible from any too-fast drivers coming up behind. 

The Pony commented on such behavior. Farmer H said, "Thats just what the truckers do."

"Well. That car in front of us, and the one in front of him, are not truckers."

"There must be an accident up ahead, and they're warning us."

"Um. I don't see any accident. And it's been a couple miles now. Just rain."

It was so hard to see out the windshield. We were coming up on an exit.

"Do you want to pull off and wait it out?"

"No! That's a good way to get run over."

"I don't mean pull off the side of the road. I mean the exit. And wait about five minutes. To see if the rain slacks off. See? That guy ahead of us is doing it."

"He's taking the exit because he wants to get off there anyway."

You know. Farmer H is psychic. About five miles up the road, the rain slackened.

"SEE? THIS is why you don't pull off and wait. If you keep going, you get on the other side of the storm."

"Sure. You know it all. EVERY storm in the world is like this. There are none that will move past you while you're waiting five minutes. They're all stalled overhead, and you'll never get out from under it unless you keep driving... Don't pretend to know that every storm is the same, and your way of keeping driving is the only way to get out of it. It might go on for a hundred miles! YOU don't know!"

THEN, once we had entered the no-rain zone, and it started up again... I had the nerve to ask Farmer H to turn the windshield wipers back on.

"I can see just fine, HM. I don't know why you always start on me. It's because you won't go and get nothin' done to fix your eyes. THAT'S why you cain't see! It's your eyes. Not the windshield wipers."

"Well. Since you have such perfect vision, you need to buy the next car WITHOUT windshield wipers. Just tell that salesman, 'I don't want to be charged for windshield wipers. I can see through the rain. I don't need them.' No use wasting money on extras."

Because, you know, a man with glaucoma and one eye can see way better than Mrs. Hillbilly Mom in a rainstorm.