They're HERE! The Pony's uniform clothes! He saw that they were ready for delivery on Friday. The rural carrier covering the Mansion's route saved the box for him, so we didn't have to worry about somebody stealing the key out of EmBee and opening the lockbox. Everything but the shoes shipped, and they're back-ordered.
The Pony has four shirts and two pairs of pants. Also a short jacket, kind of a windbreaker type, dark blue with the red and gray reflective stripes across the back, and the official USPS logo on the front. He opened the box before work Friday, and wore the jacket.
Anyhoo... the shirts are all light blue. Two are knit polo shirts, with a few buttons and collar. The other two shirts are short-sleeve button-up shirts. The pants came unhemmed! With a thready bottom. Of course that makes sense. Easier to make and ship, just size them by the waist, not the length plus waist.
Farmer H told The Pony to take them up town to the seamstress who hems HIS pants. The jeans he buys at Goodwill that fit his waist, but not his stubby 28-inch legs.
"She charges $4 a pair. You should take them up there."
"I don't even know where that is, and I don't have time because I WORK!"
"I'll take them. Find a pair of pants that fit, and write down the length so I can tell her."
"You measure from the inside of the leg. From the crotch to the bottom."
"I KNOW what an inseam is, Mother."
"Yeah. So just measure it, and write it down for Dad."
"I'm not sure which part you measure from..."
"Oh, I thought you KNEW what an inseam was!"
"But is it from what part of the leg? I don't want to get it wrong."
"From the crotch. Where the two inseams meet. Start it from there, down to the bottom of the leg. Lay out the pair of pants where you can put the leg flat and measure it."
"Um. Still not quite sure..."
"LET DAD HELP YOU! Sweet Gummi Mary! Life is SO HARD for you, Pony! I don't know how you're going to survive!"
"Well, it's not something I know anything about, and I don't want to get them hemmed wrong."
"Did you even try them on? I'm not taking them until you try them on. You can't send them back if they're hemmed."
"I don't think we can send them back anyway. After the purchase order."
"What do people do with clothes that don't fit?"
"Ask around to see if they'll fit somebody else. That's how I got my sweater."
"Are you trying them on?"
"Okay! But I ordered two different sizes, just in case."
"That don't make sense."
"Here. These fit."
"They look pretty tight."
"Yes, but they fasten. And I just put them on over the tights I was wearing on my way to the bath. I think this is the small pair, too. It's hard to see the size when I have them on. Yep. This is the small pair."
We'll see how this turns out. When The Pony is all decked out in uniform one day, I'll get a faceless picture. Probably after his shift, though. Not when he's rushing out of here in the morning.
3 comments:
He ordered two different sizes?? He is a funny Pony! You could just get some hem tape that you can iron on. The Pony could do it!!
Why would he order two sizes? Doesn't he know what size he is? Don't they have a sizing box on the order from where you can check their sizing against your own?
I think it's hilarious that he knows what an inseam is but doesn't know where to measure from.
Kathy,
Yes. Typical Pony. Sweet Gummi Mary! You overestimate the capabilities of The Pony! He might deliver mail to every nook and cranny of the county, but no way can he iron on hem tape! He'd melt the pants and burn down the Mansion! He'd probably try to do it while wearing the pants! The Pony can be very HeWho-like.
***
River,
I don't know why you and Kathy are so shocked that The Pony ordered two sizes. By his reasoning, he would rather have one pair that fits instead of none that fit! The Pony prances to a different parade drummer.
As for the sizing, I think The Pony might have been spooked by one of the female workers, who volunteered: "Make sure you get the MEN'S pants! If I was doing my order again, I would get the men's pants. I have female equipment, and even my junk gets squished by the way these pants ride up!"
Oh, there's MORE to the inseam story! Coming up!
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