I live in Hillmomba. Farmer H lives in Denial.
There is a problem with T-Hoe, so I sent Farmer H out to take him for a test drive down the gravel road. We'll get to that issue tomorrow. Meanwhile, I had to give Farmer H instructions.
"The keys are in the side of my purse. Wait! What in the Not-Heaven are you doing? You don't need to open that! The SIDE OF MY PURSE! What don't you understand about SIDE of PURSE? Right in front of you. Reach your hand down in. I don't know why you think you have to unsnap a flap on the other side!"
"Well. You said the side of the purse. So I was opening up the other side."
"I don't know how you've managed to live this long! Now when you back out of the garage, don't snap off my mirror like you did before. And when you come back, make sure you park so that I can get the door open all the way. Don't get too close to the wall, and don't park where the door hits one of those 2x4s."
"I can get your car in and out of the garage, HM."
"OH! And listen to the garage door when it goes up and down. It makes a horrible metallic snapping sound. I've been telling you about that. I think it needs some grease.
I don't want to be killed by that spring breaking and piercing my skull."
"The spring isn't going to break, HM."
"It did before, didn't it??? And you made me take the pieces to the garage door shop to get a new one! It snapped, but luckily it shot a different direction than my head."
"It DID break before. But this one is fine."
Said the man who lives in Denial.
5 comments:
I had one of those springs shoot off my garage door once. It about gave me a heart attack. Fortunately it shot to the back of the garage, away from the door. Unfortunately, the garage was full of crap and it took forever to find the stupid spring so I could get it replaced. I vowed that day, never again. I hear any funk coming from the garage door, I'm done until it gets checked/fixed. Hopefully Hick finds his way out of Denial to realize there's a problem and gets it taken care of. Those darn things are dangerous. Ranee
Rae,
If only someone could provide him with a map! I'm glad you also dodged the spring. If I remember right, one piece of ours shot off, and the other stayed attached. Of course I had two inquisitive boys to seek out the lost part. Farmer H removed the other end, and I took them both to the garage door place. They had to order one. It was not a pleasant experience.
Well that is one problem I don't have since I don't have a garage door! My son-in-law instals and services garage doors. He does some residential, but most industrial, like airports and such. I wuld not trust any maintenance done by HeWho thinks he knows everything! I find t easier to ust get up and get what HeWho might be searching for, especially if my purse is involved.
My shed/garage has a lift up door with a giant spring on each side on the interior bolted to the walls. It's positively ancient as well as huge, but if it ever breaks there's probably nothing in that shed/garage that I truly need so I can just leave it all there until I can get it fixed. I just hope if it breaks I can be out of the way at the speed of light.
Kathy,
I really thought Farmer H could follow a simple direction, especially with me RIGHT THERE to supervise him. There was only the kitchen counter between us, with him standing by the door, and my purse on the table, with the open side slit looking right at him!
***
River,
I hope you have ninja skills in case a spring ever breaks!
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