Saturday night, I made Farmer H's supper of taquitos and cheese dip. The taquitos are super easy, just a matter of putting them in the oven for 11 minutes. The cheese dip is also simple, just cutting up some Velveeta, adding salsa, and microwaving until smooth. A bit of stirring needed, and it's done.
I called Farmer H to the kitchen to get his plate ready. We were out of tortilla chips, so he was having generic ruffled potato chips. He had to get a new bag out of the pantry and open them. Such a chore! Sometimes he prefers them anyway with this dip. He had said he was eating in his recliner this time, rather than at the cutting block. By the time I turned around from wiping pepperoni grease off the previous night's pizza pan, Farmer H was gone.
"Did you take a paper towel? I don't see the new roll."
"No. I don't need one."
"Great! The remote, and the arms of your chair will be slimy with grease. Those taquitos left MY hands greasy when I put them on the pan while they were frozen. And you know chips are greasy."
"I won't get grease on anything, HM."
"Yeah. Sure. You just didn't want to get out the new roll and put it on the holder."
I stand by that belief. There was a single paper towel left on the cardboard roll, kind of folded over, as the last one does, stuck to the tube. Farmer H didn't want to be accused of taking the last one and not getting out the new roll of paper towels. Which was in the pantry, right beside the bag of chips.
You know what I did next, right? I got out the new roll of paper towels and put it on the holder. Then I started my dishwater to wash a skillet Farmer H had used to make himself ham and eggs, a plastic Chinese Tupperware container that had held 3 slices of cooked bacon, some random silverware, and the pizza pan.
"Hey! My water is not getting hot! It's barely warm. I don't think I can wash bacon grease and pepperoni juice with lukewarm water. Even if I used the real Dawn, instead of your FREE auction detergent. Do you know why the water isn't getting hot?"
"No."
"Did you have a shower while I was gone? I see that you're in your underwear."
"I had a shower."
"A LONG shower? To use up a whole water heater full of hot water?"
"It was a shower. Maybe kind of long."
"Maybe you could have told me that, when you saw me getting the pizza pan ready to wash."
Yeah. Farmer H had just gotten home as I was leaving. I was gone for 50 minutes. I'm pretty sure he had a 45 minute shower.
I'll probably need to wash those dishes again. And I'm taking a paper towel to the short couch to wipe off the remote before I use it.
6 comments:
This sounds so familiar! HeWho will occassionally do some dishes while I am sweating outside. The minute I enter the house he will proudly announce that he did the dishes for me. FOR ME? When I go into the very small kitchen with very little counter space I see that the counters have not been wiped, the table will still have one or two items that need to be put in the fridge and the eating utensils still sitting on his dirty napkin. Always leaves the pot used on the stove! It is easier just to do it myself! Oh, he NEVER drains the dishwater and that makes me want to scream!
Kathy,
That is my nightmare! Cold dishwater, and you have to reach through it to the stopper, fighting sunken food particles that congregate there. Because you KNOW the washer didn't wipe the plates first!
Oh, and Farmer H will leave the pan on the HOT burner! Not set it aside after dipping out his food. So it gets burned to the bottom of the pan. Chili dog mix comes to mind.
I am so glad I live alone (big cheesy grin here)
Also glad that I have a gas "instantaneous" water heater. As soon as I turn on the hot tap the elctronic ignition sparks and lights the gas which continues to heat water as long as I keep the tap on. No hot water tank storage needed. No running out of hot water ever.
River,
I suppose you will still be wearing that grin when your gas water heater blows you sky-high through the roof while you are soundly snoozing. Not trying to jinx you. I'm just sure that is what would happen to me if I had any kind of gas appliance in the Mansion. Realistically, the metal roof would probably hold me in a Hillbilly-Mom-shaped indentation, preventing me from being blown sky-high.
The heater is located outside behind the block of flats along with the three others for the other three flats. There is a disused laundry room back there, attached to the end flat but far enough away, and the pipes run from each heater to the appropriate flat. and they can't blow us up, until a hot tap is turned on there is no spark to light the gas. Not even an old-style pilot light. Super safe. I've had gas water heaters my whole life, gas stoves too until I moved here where all the stoves are electric.
River,
You just keep believing that! I have never trusted gas appliances. I am convinced that they scheme all night while I am sleeping, conjuring up ways to explode, or emit carbon monoxide so I will never wake up...
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