Sunday, May 7, 2023

33 Percent Justice

Perhaps I should clarify my stance on the two previous posts... Roads are designed for automobiles WITH QUALIFIED DRIVERS!

Here are three examples, just from Saturday. I shall discuss them in reverse order.
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The Titanic Idiot

On the way home, I was coming up on the long high bridge when a car rounded the curve coming toward me. A dude was standing up with his torso poking out of the sunroof! He looked to be late teens/early twenties, with a helmet of blond hair flowing in the 55+ mph breeze generated by the car. Wearing plastic sunglasses like my $5 Save A Lot version. He acted like he was on the bow of the Titanic, flying, with arms extended. When he saw me, he started waving exuberantly. 

What in the Not-Heaven??? Dude had to be standing with one foot on the passenger seat, and one foot on the driver's seat. What kind of driver lets that happen? The slightest jostle could interfere with operation of the vehicle!
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The Over-Driver

I pulled up to the light beside Dairy Queen, waiting to make my left turn to head home. The car ahead of me had driven past the wide white line painted across the left turn lane, designating where to stop and wait for the light to turn green. It's a wide intersection. I could see the traffic lights for the cross traffic. Their light turned red. I waited for Over-Driver and I to get our green light. BUT WE DIDN'T GET IT! After about a minute, the cross traffic's light turned green again, while ours stayed red.

Over-Driver was practically in the middle of the intersection. Good thing it's so wide. There was room for the cars to pass by, but people on our right, trying to turn and come down our street, had to swing way wide to get around Over-Driver. Who didn't even try to back up out of the intersection! There was at least a car length, maybe two, between Over-Driver and T-Hoe. I was sitting with T-Hoe's front tires at that white line. Finally, the sensor must have sensed T-Hoe, and gave us our green left-turn arrow.
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The Bumper-Kisser

While I was in the drive-thru line at Dairy Queen, an unnatural blond behind me had her truck so close that I swear her front bumper was kissing T-Hoe's rear. I could hardly see any of Bleachy's vehicle in my mirrors. Granted, people get pretty close to each other at the DQ drive-thru, to let those behind them move up to order at the speaker. But there's usually at least five feet of clearance. 

Sometimes, the workers will bring out an order that gets ready faster. So I always leave room so I can pull out of line and go around. It happened just last week. The worker guy said, "Cut your wheel real hard, and I think you'll make it." I thanked him, and assured him that I COULD make. That's my purpose for leaving just enough room.

Anyhoo... I was a bit annoyed with Bleachy, because last year, a guy actually DID run into me in that DQ line. Good thing I'm not prone to neck injuries and lawsuits. As I was fuming and shooting Bleachy the stinkeye in my mirror, though she couldn't see me, due to her over-closeness... the worker gal brough out Bleachy's ice cream cone. 

HEH, HEH! Bleachy was too close to pull out of line and go around the three of us ahead of her! No room to back up, because there were cars behind her. So she had to sit there until we were ready to pull ahead.
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SWEET, SWEET JUSTICE WAS SERVED! One out of three ain't bad.

2 comments:

River said...

Seat Surfer dude was probably so excited to see the sun and feel the wind, or maybe he was stoned. Bleachy gal probably had time to eat the entire ice cream cone. Who gets in line just for a cone? It would be quicker to park the car and walk in for one.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I think he was celebrating Cinco de Mayo on Seis de Mayo, having a Saturday party, and was drunk on his rumpus. Bleachy probably DID have that cone at least half-eaten. I don't know why she'd go through the drive-up, unless maybe she wasn't dressed appropriately. There WERE a lot of cars on the parking lot that day. So maybe she figured the wait would be long inside as well. Still, I don't see how you can properly enjoy an ice cream while driving.