Friday, May 12, 2023

The Crazy-Driver Is Shifting Gears

Sweet Gummi Mary! Farmer H has ramped up his campaign to drive me crazy. I will have to break down the re-tell into several installments.

Tuesday, Farmer H was mowing the yard after a brief trip to town for lunch. He had been working on his latest themed shed over on Shackytown Boulevard, though the theme escapes me. Nor do I remember if his buddy Old Buddy was working with him. The plan was to put down a floor in that shed.

Anyhoo... Farmer H came back from town alone, and into the Mansion for a few moments to use the facilities. Then he said he was going out to mow the yard. It grows really fast this time of year. We have a lot of yard. I could hear him on the mower as he covered various areas of acreage. 

When I got out of the shower and left for town, I did not lock the kitchen door. After all, Farmer H was on the grounds. No need to lock him out.

When I backed out of the garage, I saw the mower parked under the carport, behind the Gator. Huh. I suppose Farmer H had finished up with the mowing. SilverRedO was not parked there. I assumed Farmer H had it over on Shackytown Boulevard while working on the shed. 

Going up the driveway, I did not see SilverRedO by the sheds. Well. Maybe he was at the BARn. By the time I cruised down the gravel road and looked in front of the BARn and Freight Container Garage, I realized that SilverRedO was not there. No way was I driving back to the Mansion to go in and lock the door. There have been no crazed marauders in our enclave lately. I was sure it would be fine.

On Wednesday, I had not talked to Farmer H since mid-morning, when he got our newest pet, Scarlett, set up on her lead in the side yard. I knew he was going to town for lunch, but not what he was doing afterwards. So as I left, I locked the kitchen door. Of course I saw SilverRedO on Shackytown Boulevard as I left. Too bad, so sad. Farmer H could just dig out his keys and let himself in.

When I was leaving town, I got a text that Farmer H could help me carry in groceries if I stopped and honked, because he was mowing, and his phone wasn't working well. So I caught his attention when I got home. He came over to the garage to help. And had the nerve to ask if the door was unlocked.

"NO! I left it unlocked yesterday, and then saw that you were gone as I went by the BARn field. You didn't bother to tell me that you were leaving!"

"Actually, I DID. I told you when you was in the shower."

"Did I answer you?"

"No. You was in the shower."

Exactly! I can't hear when I'm in the shower!

But there's more to Farmer H's antics, coming up...

4 comments:

River said...

Aarrgh! Are you tearing your hair out yet?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
I would be, but I have a hurt arm/shoulder that is too painful to lift my right hand. Can't go around with HALF a lovely lady-mullet!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So familiar ....

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I knew you would know first-hand what this ordeal was all about!