It's the 1st of May, and The Universe continues to conspire against Mrs. HM. The winds that March supposedly came in with should have blown on their merry way by now. But no. March refused to go out like a lamb. Lioned its way right into April, and is still going strong in MAY!
Today we had 30 mph winds, with gusts over 40. Oh, it wasn't a chill wind. Temps in low 60s. But it was just an annoying wind that was most unwelcome.
Every time I stepped foot outside the Mansion or T-Hoe, that wind tried to rip the lovely lady-mullet right off my head. Tendrils whipped my face like a cat-o-nine-tails. Stinging like a dry jellyfish. Hair stuck to my teeth like shredded coconut on the outside of those delicious Snowball snack cakes.
No matter which direction I headed, that wind was at my back. Eddying like a whirling dervish, covering my face with hair, trying to flip my shirt up over my head. Good thing Mrs. HM does not go to town in a dress!
The trees behind the Mansion sway violently. I don't fear them, because they can't reach the house. But on my travels with T-Hoe, I am apprehensive that a giant limb might come crashing down on us, or into our path. The metal roof of the Mansion sighs with annoyance. I'm pretty sure the trash dumpster is identifying as a heavy metal industrial version, in hopes of staying upright in our yard/field, and not prone in the middle of the gravel road.
Yesterday, in the field behind the Gas Station Chicken Store, in the area between the auto parts store and the can opener factory... I saw an upside down TRAMPOLINE. Yes. I had PTSD from a couple weeks ago, when one came flipping at me off the back of a truck. This one was twice its size.
I got out of there as quickly as possible, hoping that trampoline wasn't coming after me!
I will take rain any day over wind.
9 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more. We are under a red flag warning in our county and many counties north, south and west of us. Despite near record snow fall, many April showers and a late Spring, we are under a fire warning and the wind keeps blowing. Due to late Spring, there has been very little greening of the grass, shrubs and budding of the trees etc, therefore causing the fire hazard. When we aren't under a fire warning, any other day of the week or year that the wind is blowing, I take my life into my own hands trying to get the mail. We have a full glass door storm door and it is heavy. When the wind is from the north, I can barely get it open and when it comes from the south, it tries to rip it out of my hand and then the wind lets up and it crashes into my arm. I have had so many bruises from that stupid door. I just get one healed and next time I see my upper arm in the mirror, there's another one. I won't even get into the wind and hair that is down to the middle of my back. Yep, pre and post pandemic/lockdown and a loathing for "beauty salons" and it just keeps growing. I do trim it myself, but I'm do for a good 10" or more removal. I may even trust my husband to do it. Bring on the rain. Ranee (MN)
Rae,
My mom used to have one of those glass doors. I can imagine how hard that would be to wrangle in the wind!
This is exactly why my lovely lady-mullet has grown to such lengths! I hate going to Terrible Cuts. I don't like the thought of people breathing on me while standing so close. Now that winter is over, maybe I will go. In a couple months, maybe! The Pony cut my hair twice. It wasn't too bad. I've even contemplated asking Farmer H to chop off the back. Seriously. You know I'm desperate if I think about letting Farmer H behind me with a pair of scissors!
Have you people forgotten about tying hair into ponytails? Or shove it all under a beanie? There's always the "granny bun" option too.
I love the wind, but hate the damage it can cause. When high wind warnings go out, people with trampolines etc need to stash them in garages or sheds.
River,
As bad as I look with the stringy tendrils, I don't think a ponytail would flatter me. I don't know how to make a granny bun. Maybe if a little urchin screams out, "That lady has ugly hair!" I MIGHT consider getting it cut.
Any wind over 5 mph annoys me. Maybe it comes from living in tornado country. Those trampolines need to be chained to a concrete slab! Most people's sheds are probably already too full of junk.
Flatter schmatter! in high winds keeping hair out of eyes and face is more important than looks and it's temporary.
Although just pulling on a beanie should keep it contained while out in the wind.
River,
Yeah, it could be dangerous if I ran over someone while I was pushing a cart into Country Mart! As for the beanie... not sure I want to be THAT WEIRDO who wears a sock cap when the temp is 67 degrees! I couldn't borrow one of Farmer H's many caps, because the wind would blow it right off my head.
I have hats I wear while gardening and sure wish I had put one in the RV after HeWho broke the water line and I couldn't wash my hair! The wind in Minnesota was strong every day while we were there. The day we left it calmed down. Isn't that the way it is? I can't blog about my tri in detail, as th ex-daughter-in-law is stalking me again. She can't post comments, but she will make my son's life hard. My new daughter-in-law is a gem! We have to use translation on the phone to talk, but she is so good to my child after the witch he was married to! They took us out night clubbing! We only lasted until midnight. HeWho refused to dance, but she got me out n the floor. I was wearing a strapless bra with a new shirt that revealed one shoulder. Midway through the dance that bra rolled up like a rubberband! I couldn't even tell her! We had so much fun!
Kathy,
Night-clubbing! You are out of control! In more ways than one, considering your bra malfunction... It's good that you have a way to communicate with your new daughter-in-law.
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