Thursday, January 17, 2019

The Audacity Of Farmer H

I can't believe this guy! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Farmer H is one of those "Do as I SAY, not as I DO," kind of people. There's no other explanation for his shenanigans.

Let the record show that on Sunday, Farmer H had the audacity to say to Mrs. HM:

"I thought you just bought a new pair of shoes."

I know, right? He's lucky I didn't lop off his head with one of my new Pioneer Woman ceramic knives. Which, I might add, have a very sharp blade, and which, as you know, FARMER H GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS! I'm pretty sure that would be irony, me using the knives he gave me to lop off his head.

Anyhoo... I don't take kindly to Farmer H assuming that I should not be contemplating a new pair of shoes. The shoes, I might add, which are New Balance, of the stabilizer variety, to take the place of my very old New Balance 1011s, which I think came out in 2008, and are now quite without any cushioning, and very stinky, but work to make my Posterior Tibial Tendinitis feel better.

I've been thinking about getting a replacement pair since I hurt my ankle and found out that a motion control shoe is good for what ails me. Because the 1011s are no longer available, I've had trouble finding a suitable replacement. So I keep putting off the purchase.

Let the record also show that Farmer H and I went to Famous Brand Shoes (not exactly a high-end show store) to get us each a pair of wear-around shoes for CasinoPalooza 3. He got a nice pair of Skechers (The Pony couldn't stop laughing over that), and I could only find a pair of Nikes that were somewhat comfortable. I also had a $10 off coupon.

Anyhoo...these Nikes were not meant to take the place of a good motion control shoe. They are lightweight and cushy, but wearing them more than for short trips to get my 44 oz Diet Coke will wreak havoc with my posterior tibial tendon, since they don't have good arch support, and don't prevent pronation.

Let the record further show that I only brought up ordering those special New Balance in conversation, in reply to Farmer H saying he needed a new pair of work boots (even though he's not working) because his old boots have worn soles and are slippery on ice, snow, and wet surfaces. I don't begrudge Farmer H a pair of new work boots. In fact, I've encouraged him to go to his special boot store and get them. I thought he had done so, back in December.

Sweet Gummi Mary! "All for me, and none for thee!" That must be Farmer H's unofficial motto. He didn't say I didn't need new shoes. He didn't say not to get them. He didn't even act like I shouldn't get them. I just took offense to his comment.

It's not like I'm shopping for Jimmy Choos or Manolo Blahniks or Louboutins! I wouldn't know one of them if they bit me on my ample rumpus. Just a pair of sturdy New Balance. That's all I'm looking for.

Let the record never forget that Farmer H has spent $1700 on a new lawnmower without consulting me. And bought himself a new used tractor after swearing he was going to sell the old one (didn't happen). And built himself a freight container garage with a car lift that was stuffed with the contents of 18 storage units within a month of being completed. AND SPENT $1000 ON SHOE INSERTS AT THE GOOD FEET STORE!!!

So excuse me if I take offense to his casual comment: "I thought you just bought new shoes."

While we're on the badmouthing Farmer H bandwagon, let me also inform you that Farmer H can go to bed at 9:00 p.m., and sleep until 9:00 a.m., yet complain if I get more than five hours of sleep! Not so much verbally, but by sending me texts that say, "IF YOU'RE UP, then you can..." do something or other for him. Or "IF YOU'RE UP and are going to town, watch out for slick parking lots." Rather than just saying what he means.

ANDDDDDD...Farmer H grabbed my ethernet! Uh huh. After all the trials with my computer woes, hooking and unhooking assorted wires, telling ME to drag out New Delly's tower and disconnect and connect the wires! Yes, a bug must have crawled up Farmer H's butt while he was down on the floor under my lair desk. Because all at once, he popped up and grabbed my coily blue ethernet, knocking several items off my piled-up desk top, when I had laid that wire aside, ready to slip it right back where I'd had it, and plug it in.

Farmer H needs to learn his place. And it's NOT deciding my wake-up time, or when I can buy shoes, or grabbing my ethernet coil.

There. Now I feel refreshed. Ready for a new onslaught of out-of-place Farmer H-isms.

7 comments:

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So brave was he!! HeWho has finally learned not to question my purchases. As if he should, I am very frugal. I wear Dawgs Z flip flops almost year round. They have good arch supports and the sole is nice and cushy for me standing on cement floors. I wear socks if my feet get cold. But, as you know HeWho keeps it quite warm in here!

River said...

It's possible the New Balance 1011s are still available, just with a new number, the updated version. I also wear New Balance, but my feet are short and wide so I fit into the boys size 5W, the W being for wide fit of course. Being a child's shoe they don't have much arch support so I bought a pair of arch support inserts from the physio last time I went about my heel pain. Is the posterior tibial thing a sharp hot pain along the back of the ankle, feels similar to the "chinese burns" you got from enemies in the schoolyard? Because that's what I have and the physio recommended exercises to stretch the hamstring and calf tendons. Mostly I forget to do them because the ankle doesn't hurt all the time.

River said...

P.S. my new Balance began as 623s, then 625s, now they are 625v2, same shoe, new number, slightly different styling, same fit.

River said...

PPS, next time Farmer H says something like that, fix him with a death stare, and when he asks what's for supper come back with "but didn't you just eat a while ago?"

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I definitely believe you are frugal. And also that your feet have very little chance of getting cold inside the house!

***
All the Rivers,
That pain is quite sharp when it hits. Kind of the inner back of the ankle, behind the ankle bone, but not to the achilles. I can't quite explain it. Not the achilles area, but more to the inside back of the ankle. Sometimes it comes on all at once, when I'm only sitting in my OPC with my feet up. It's gotten better, though, over a couple months. I DO need to do more stretching of the achilles area, I agree. My arch used to be fine, until this PTT injury. I have an arch support that I put in my everyday shoe for going to town, and it definitely helps. My stinky old 1011s have good support in that area.

I think I need the men's 940v, or the 1540v. They're the anti-pronation and motion control shoes. I have to have the wide version, so I always get the men's shoe. I'll just have to read more reviews, and pick one, and order it, since the stores around here don't carry that version.

Heh, heh! Yeah. I can say, "Uh. Didn't I just fix you supper YESTERDAY?" Like he doesn't deserve to eat again.

fishducky said...

I'd love to hear his response to "Uh. Didn't I just fix you supper YESTERDAY?"

Hillbilly Mom said...

fishducky,
I'm pretty sure those are fightin' words! Farmer H would say, "Don't fix me nothin'! I don't want anything! I'll find something!" All while gesticulating wildly with his Pop-Arm and the other one, then stomping out through the kitchen door to fire up the Gator.