Friday, January 18, 2019

The Bright Side Is, I Don't Need A Gym Membership

Dang! This problem with my internet connection is for the birds! Active birds. Not shuffling penguins, or perching vultures. Birds all hopped-up on the avian version of catnip.

I might have mentioned here or there that my ethernet wire is now plugged into a router under Genius's desk, and runs across the basement floor in all its coiled glory, through the door of my dark lair, up across the counter full of junk necessary items that might one day be needed, and into the back of New Delly's tower.

Every time EVERY TIME that I enter or leave my lair, I have to hurdle this beast! Let the record show that Mrs. HM's hurdling days are over. I must goose-step like a German soldier, or lift my knees like a prize Lipizzaner stallion to navigate those ankle-catching loops. So every time EVERY TIME my 44 oz Diet Coke demands that my bladder visit the NASCAR bathroom, I must overcome that obstacle. Which is often.

Yes, the giddy days of being reunited with my innernets have passed. I now take it for granted again, and am waiting for Farmer H to install that new hub that's sitting upstairs in its box, fresh from Amazondotcom on Wednesday, resting on the back of the couch right by the basement stairs. I'm pretty sure I could do it myself, if I could only crawl on my knees under my desk.

That's about ALL I can't do. I've been bending to look under there at the wire configuration. Stretching to see and reach the connections on the back of New Delly's tower, the back of the printer, and the wires on my old desktop that's now on the floor out by Genius's desk. Lifting and carrying that hub's Amazon box that also contained some items for The Pony's upcoming birthday (no, it's not a brownie maker...YET). Balancing myself on a 4-inch-thick slab of ice (good for the core muscles) while trying to reach the lock box that fit the key I found in EmBee's gullet.

Yes. I'm being whipped into shape against my will by this faulty connection. I miss the good old days of sitting on my ample rumpus, merely exercising my elbow for sips of my magical elixir.


River said...

Are you able to turn the whole desk around to see the back of everything where the wires go in? Then you could just install the new hub yourself, plug in all necessary wires and thumb your nose at Farmer H.

Hillbilly Mom said...

No, my desk is actually two pieces of smooth countertop, in an L shape in the corner. The counters are attached to the wall, and the hug is screwed into the wall underneath. You have to crawl under the desk to get to the hub.

I can pull New Delly's tower out, and see all the wires, and then look under, to see where they come out and what they plug into after they pass through a hole cut in the countertop. If I was more spry, I could crawl under there myself and do it.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I tell you, you need a wife! One that will feel sorry for you and take care of all the things the husband has neglected. Oh wait, that could easily be misinterpreted …… I am referring to chores that have been neglected.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Heh, heh! You had me going there! I could use someone to do the neglected repairs, that's for sure. And maybe cook supper for me. And ask if I would like something from town.