Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Farmer H's Cooking Show Is On The Back Burner

I may not survive this snowstorm. And neither may Farmer H. Forced togetherness could be the end of us. Of course I am a perfectly (emphasis on PERFECT) normal person. But HE is so unreasonable!

Farmer H got up early to go to town on Saturday morning. He didn't go to his storage locker, what with snow in the forecast and already falling, and temps in the single digits. He HAD to get his Casey's donuts, which are not even secret any more.

"Did you bring donuts for the rest of us?"

"No. Why would I?"

By late-morning, Farmer H must have hit his sugar crash. While I was in the shower, he made himself some eggs and sausage. Sausage patties from the mini freezer, and liquid eggs in the carton in FRIG II. Both FREE. I don't imagine he was going to tell me about it, but I saw the unwashed skillet on the stove. At least when he was being secretive, he washed his own dishes to hide his actions.

For supper, Farmer H was having the leftover pork steak dinner from Country Mart's deli, that I had brought him on Friday. Speaking of Friday, when we had the power outage, Farmer H professed that he had eaten a banana, and wasn't hungry. But the minute the power came back, he was foraging in the FREE food freezer, getting out EGG ROLLS. 
The egg rolls are tasty, all crispy and greasy, hot from the oven. It only takes 10 minutes at 400 degrees, turn them over, 10 more minutes. VOILA! But no. Since Farmer H made them himself, he MICROWAVED them! Yuck. The smell was horrible, and they looked like overgrown larvae, like giant grub worms. I don't think they were very good, limp and soggy.

This is what irks me so severely. Farmer H pretends he is making himself food, but he is the laziest self-feeder I have ever observed. On Sunday, he was going to eat the leftover leftover pork steak. The sides were gone, but he'd cut his pork steak in half.

"Oh! You can have that can of corn in the Ponytail Guy's box. I know you like corn. Just pour out the liquid, put a little butter in the pan, and dump in the corn until it's warm"

"Eh. Maybe. I only need the pork steak."

How lazy do you have to be, not to make yourself canned corn as a side dish for your meat? It's not like I expected him to whip up a 7-layer salad! If he wasn't such a pizza snob, he could have had Little Caesar's with The Pony and me. But he'd turned it down with a crinkled nose.

This Mansion is quickly becoming too small for the both of us.


River said...

Perfect = Ideal, but normal cannot be defined, being a completely different concept for each individual.
Soggy microwaved eggroll? Eeew, my stomach is turning.
Why, why, why, does he not think of those at home when he goes out specifically to buy donuts?? He knows you like them, right? Is he afraid that if he buys extra he will eat them on the way home and fall into a sugar coma while driving or upon arriving home?

Sioux Roslawski said...

Sorry. I think I got my blogs mixed up. I was bitter that we were not going to have another snow day, which would have five days off in a row...

Hillbilly Mom said...

You should have seen those egg rolls! They were like limp noodles. FAT limp noodles, full of steaming cabbage and a little pork.

Farmer H thinks a lot of himself. And ONLY himself. But since I dared to question his motives, he BROUGHT US DONUTS on Tuesday morning! Of course, I don't know how many he initially bought. The Pony said we each had two. They were in a HUGE box. I'm hoping he only bought six, and NOT a dozen! Which would mean he ate eight donuts on the way home...

Meh. What's done is done. The world is still turning. I can't believe you didn't get another day off! It's like Antarctica down here in Hillmomba! I think the schools have been out since that day Farmer H asked the gal her age at the Mexican restaurant, and paid for her takeout order. They're closed Wednesday, too.