Monday, February 15, 2021

The Gossip Window Slams Shut On Mrs. HM

I was excited to reveal the convenience store gossip to the Gas Station Chicken Store clerk yesterday. She finished selling some scratchers and sour gummi candy to a gal and her developmentally disabled brother, and I was the sole customer.
"I've got winners today, that my son gave me for my birthday! Let's get my business done, and then I've got some gossip for you!"
"Ooh! That'll be good!"
She rang up my $90 of winners (which I'd thought was only $85), gave me the requested three $3 tickets and a $5 crossword, and handed back the rest of my winnings. Just then a man dared to enter! He headed for the cooler in the back. But a woman was on his heels, and headed for the counter.
"Oops! Looks like now you're going to get busy. I can tell you tomorrow."
"I'm off for the next three days!"
"Oh. Well. I'll wait a couple minutes here by the door."
It was a great waiting place. There's a heat vent in the ceiling that was making me toasty warm before heading out into the 11-degree deep freeze. Unfortunately, it looked like I might be roasted like a deli chicken before I got a turn to relay my tale of the previous day's Check-Complaining Woman.
A gas customer came in. Then another man. The Brother returned with two winning scratchers.
"She said to trade these in for two more."
I'll be danged if that woman customer didn't have a STACK of draw tickets to be scanned to see if they were winners. I mean a STACK. Like a deck of thin floppy playing cards. I did not want to be distracting to the customers nor the clerk.
"I'm going to leave, and tell you the next time I see you!"
"Okay. I'll be looking forward to it!"
The problem is, during the week, either the Man Owner or Woman Owner is on site. I wouldn't want them to overhear my gossip. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Though the Woman Owner would probably like hearing that the Check-Complaining Man had plans to ruin her by word-of-mouth.
Sweet Gummi Mary! Is it too much to ask, Even Steven, to have some alone time with my special clerk, for a little tete-a-tete?


Sioux Roslawski said...

The Rolling Stones have a great song that would--for me--answer your question. Can you figure out what song I'm talkin' 'bout?

River said...

Write her a note and slip it across surreptitiously like passing notes in class. Although that wouldn't be as much fun, you really need facial expressions for gossip.

Hillbilly Mom said...

I Cain't (as we say around here) Get No Satisfaction? Because Jumpin' Jack Flash doesn't really answer much. Those are the only two that come to mind. I am sorely lacking in Stones.

Yes, I'd rather see her reaction when she hears that the hateful lady SAID SHE WAS NICE! Maybe that hateful lady had already imbibed something at the Liquor Store before I made my entrance.

Sioux Roslawski said...

You Can't Always Get What You Want. (But if you try sometimes, you'll get what you need.)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Oh. You should have said "What song from The Big Chill?" Then I would have guessed it!