Friday, February 26, 2021

Maybe The Pony Needs To Tie A String Around His Hoof As A Reminder

I am slack-jawed with bewilderment at a college graduate who cannot accomplish the most basic tasks of daily living! Not trying to pick on The Pony. No animosity here. Not even after HIS PHONE locked the kitchen door on me before I could make it in from the garage with my magical elixir. I'm only trying to understand the thought process in that seemingly empty noggin.
We had two boxes of Ritz Crackers on the kitchen counter. The kind with individual sleeves of 11-13 round tasty crackers. I eat them with a salad, and save part in my lair for a late-night snack. Farmer H got a box as a Christmas gift from The Veteran, with Oberle Sausage and cheese. Since the original family box was open, we set Farmer H's box of Ritz on the counter behind it.

For a couple of weeks, I'd reach into the open box of Ritz, and grab AN OPEN PACK, with 3-4 crackers left inside. Sweet Gummi Mary! I don't want somebody else's leftovers! WHO does that? Who cannot eat 11-13 crisp buttery round Ritz crackers in a day?

I interrogated The Pony, because he was handy. Right there in the kitchen as I was putting a sleeve of Ritz on my lunch tray beside my salad.
"I am SO tired of reaching in and getting already-opened crackers! That's the LAST pack in this box. Open! With three crackers! I'm not even dealing with that. I'm opening the new box. I can't believe somebody left THREE crackers, just to say they 'didn't eat them all' and avoid throwing away the box."

"Huh. It's not ME! Who would do something like that? It has to be Dad! I'll eat them, though."

The Pony took out the crackers and started munching. Didn't take him long. I could hear him crunching while I added a plastic fork to my tray, and counted out three iced animal cookies for my dessert. Store-bought, not Ponytail Guy free!

Anyhoo... The Pony carried my tray down to my lair. I ate half my crackers, twisted the wrapper for later, and forgot about interrogating Farmer H during our evening session of "It's time to talk about the most recent thing you've done wrong."

The next day I was getting out some Country Mart Deli ciabatta bread (the shelves had been bare of any other bread, due to people stocking up for the big snowstorm). Right there on the counter sat the EMPTY BOX of Ritz Crackers.

"PONY! Come in here!"


"I can't believe you ate the last three crackers, and LEFT THE EMPTY BOX on the counter! Don't even give me an excuse. I was standing right there when you ate them. You know you did!"

"Um. Yeah. I guess I just forgot."
I can only imagine what his college apartment must have looked like.


River said...

If your Pony is anything like my Goatherd, his apartment would look a bit like the county Dump, but with plates and cutlery, mugs and glasses, everywhere. That Goatherd walks from his TV room through the kitchen to the back porch to smoke, yet can't carry a plate on his way and leave it in the sink. I KNOW I raised him better than that.

Sioux Roslawski said...

Yes, you can imagine what his apartment looked like... because now your home is his apartment... forever!

Hillbilly Mom said...

At least we mostly use paper plates! So I'm not running out of dishes.

It's starting to feel that way, but only the couch currently LOOKS that way.