Thursday, February 4, 2021

The Ample Rumpus That Animal Cookies Didn't Build

Remember when Farmer H bought a case of animal cookies at the auction? He said he still had 7 bags left in Silverado, although a case is usually 12, and he said he'd only eaten ONE.
Farmer H is pushing his luck. He is insinuating unseemly acts of gluttony from Mrs. HM.
He had given me a bag of animal cookies, which I left on the cutting block. It was available for any who wanted to snack on them. I don't know if they did. I don't count cookies. I'd take some down for dessert, but left the whole bag upstairs. When I ran out, Farmer H gave me another bag, which I also left on the cutting block, taking a few at a time with strawberry jam.
I ran out of animal cookies last week.
"Oh, could you bring me in another bag of animal cookies from your truck?"
"There ain't no more."
"WHAT? You ate all the animal cookies?"
"No. I brought them in. There was 4 bags. The Pony put them in the pantry. At least that's what he said he was doing."
Farmer H went to the kitchen and rummaged around in the pantry.
"Huh. I guess you ate 'em all." 

"WHAT? I did NOT eat them all! I didn't eat any! Only the first bag, and then the second bag you brought in. I thought they were still in your truck."

"There ain't no cookies in the pantry."

"Well I CERTAINLY didn't eat 4 BAGS OF COOKIES! You're the one who bought a CASE, and had 7 bags left!"

"I don't know how many were in the case. But I brought the bags in, and The Pony put them away, and now there ain't no cookies."

I do not take kindly to false accusations! The Pony was gone to Steak N Shake at the time, so he could not be interrogated as to his shelving or possible consumption. But then Farmer H took another look.

"Here they are, 4 bags, on the floor of the pantry."

He DID NOT say he was sorry. I'm sure nobody needs to be revived with smelling salts from the shock of that reveal.

I saw no need to backtrack on my original exclamation that Farmer H ate 4 bags of cookies.


River said...

Who puts cookies on the FLOOR of the pantry? Cookies go at eye level, so they're easy to find when the munchies strike.

Sioux Roslawski said...

I get blamed for eating cookies with coconut in them, even though I hate coconut. Any time they can blame us, even if it's groundless, they do.

Hillbilly Mom said...

THE PONY, that's who! Need you ask more? But I WILL do some 'splainin' for him. The Pony sorted out the expired stuff and threw it away. Then he washed the shelves. While doing that he had moved stuff to non-sorted shelves, each getting their turn. Then he arranged like items with like items.

We don't keep cookies in the Mansion. We're just not cookie people. Or else they get eaten before they can be stored in the pantry. Like the leftover Oreos from the holiday cakes. So The Pony might have been flustered with the influx of 4 bags of cookies, with no shelf to put them on, in his opinion. He's an odd duck, our Pony.

Blamer's gonna blame!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I am quite certain I cold find a lot of forbidden foods in HeWho's ride. If I wanted to clean it out, that is. I always give it a once over if he has the door open, looking for McDonalds bags. Grease and salt are not on his diet plan. He would deny it even if I was holding the evidence in his face. He could be a politician!

River said...

My pantry needs sorting out, can you send The Pony here please?

Hillbilly Mom said...

If HeWho is like Farmer H (AND WE BOTH KNOW HE IS!), he would deny it even with grease around his mouth and a couple fries stuck in his throat.

I would send him, but I fear that he would perish in a cage in the cargo hold during the long ride. And once he arrived, his dry sense of humor could spark a fire!