Monday, May 17, 2021

He's A Caser, He's A Macer, He's A No-Good Lacer

The Pony is settling into his work routine. The day starts in the post office, where leather shoes are required, when the carriers case their mail. They sort it to get ready for the day's route. Sometimes other people do it for them, I think, and they do it for someone else. I'll have to get the details. 
 
I wonder, because he and the middle-aged lady had to share routes on Friday, and he said the flats had already been loaded into their LLVs, and had to be re-sorted. Her LLV had broken down, and she had to use her own car (mileage paid) to do mostly walking deliveries, while The Pony did her street-side deliveries from his LLV.

The Pony does things by the book. He pointedly explained that he leaves his Mace (I mean cayenne-pepper-spray) in his mail satchel, because if a supervisor comes to check on him, they will ask to see all the accoutrements of the job. It's a requirement.

It will be 90 days from his start date before The Pony gets his uniform allowance. Until then, I recommended that he get some plain shorts and white shirts, all alike, so there's no choosing what to wear every morning. I suggested Dickies brand workwear for the shorts. They're durable. I even volunteered to pay half the cost.

Well. The Pony bought three pairs of shorts and four shirts. They can be laundered in the evening mid-week. The shorts are dark blue, and dark gray. A couple white shirts, and a couple dark blue. They are actually part of the post office palette of blue and gray. The only thing is, I wonder if the shorts will be suitable. The Pony said they were out of his size in the cargo shorts. The ones he bought look like booty shorts to me! Then again, I was looking at uniform shorts earlier, and they're almost to the knee. So anything looks shorter.

The Pony did not go cheap on the shoes. He talked to people who did his training, and they all recommended a certain black leather style that is comfortable and durable. The Pony ordered his shoes way back before his Springfield training, I think. He's been looking for them every day. Me too! I glance at the mail lockers beside EmBee, to see if all keys are in them. If so, then it's not The Pony's day to get a package. I've also been searching EmBee for a locker key. 

Sunday, while on his Steak N Shake / Devil's Playground sortie, The Pony texted to ask if I'd been checking the mail. DUH. I LIVE for the mail! He said his new shoes had been left "in a locker" on FRIDAY! I checked! I swear! Even reached my hand way back into the metal pipe that is EmBee's gullet. I never found a key. I swear they were all in the lockers.

That got me all worried that The Pony's shoes had been stolen, or the key left in someone else's mailbox. But he found the key way in the back, and got them on the way home. WHEW! That would be a special kind of IRONY! A mail carrier's post office shoes being mis-delivered by the post office!

Anyhoo... The Pony trotted down to my lair (clogged head and all) to proudly allow me to be part of the unboxing. They ARE nice shoes. With a great insole. The laces were just threaded through the bottom two holes, then tied together inside the shoes.

"Do you even know how to lace a shoe?"

"Um. Not really?"

"That doesn't surprise me! Velcro all your childhood, and then buying them at Supermarket of Shoes, where they're already laced. Here. I'll show you."

We each laced a shoe. I had the right, he the left. The Pony actually got the job done. I remember once before when he tried. Let's just say those laces did not criss-cross from side to side, but ran in a parallel fashion. It was quite disturbing. He might have PTSD from the ribbing we gave him over that.

I was glad to show The Pony how to lace his new shoes. Even though he'd caught me mid-scratch with my lottery. OOPS! Another $100 winner Sunday! On the same kind of $10 ticket as the one two days ago. I can't help myself... but I CAN help The Pony with his grooming needs.

3 comments:

angie said...

But does he have to polish the boots? Lol

River said...

I know lots of people who lace their shoes parallel, so the laces look like a nice neat ladder and I even know how to do that, but I criss-cross mine anyway. I hope he doesn't get into trouble for having too short shorts.

Hillbilly Mom said...

angie,
Don't get me started! I can't IMAGINE The Pony trying to polish ANYTHING! From boots to silver to an apple! Another story coming up on his everyday-life "inadequacies" soon.

The special black leather recommended carrier shoes look like a basketball referee's shoe to me. Leather, but not the shiny kind like a military dress boot. Today was rainy, so he covered them with the rain gear shoe protector thingies that were also recommended by actual working carriers who don't get a cut of the profits. He wore them home, and it looked like he had FRANKENSTEIN feet!

***
River,
I've seen shoes laced like that, and they look nice and neat. That is NOT how The Pony did it. The laces were parallel. All the way! Not crossing over at all.

The shorts remind me of cargo short without the pockets. Does that make sense? That kind of material, but with regular pockets, and a CUFF on the bottom. However... that cuff is only tacked at the outer seam and inseam. It looks to me like it can be let down if I slash the tacking with a razor blade. The bottom is fully hemmed. It will unfold twice. So that's another 2-3 inches those shorts can be lengthened. Per The Pony's approval, of course. They still won't be as long as the actual uniform shorts that he'll eventually be required to wear.