Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Not-Heaven's Non-Angel


Yes, I know I've posed that question before. But still I keep screaming it from within the safety of T-Hoe. Almost on a daily basis.

Monday, I had my errands planned according to the flow of traffic. A stop by Save A Lot on the way to town. It's on the right. A right turn out of there, to the Gas Station Chicken Store for magical elixir and scratchers. There's a stoplight by them, so the traffic flow is no big deal. Then the final stop at Orb K on the way back out of town. A right turn in, and a right turn coming out. Easy peasy.

Everything went as planned. UNTIL my last stop. Orb K has parking in front of the store, along the sidewalk. As I drive onto their lot, these parking spaces are on my left. On the right is a long row of gas pumps, under roof. Maybe 8 or 10 pairs of pumps. The row of gas pumps runs almost twice as long as the store itself.

Anyhoo... I passed the first six parking spaces. Most were occupied. I don't squeeze in. As you know, I prefer a space where T-Hoe's driver's door can open all the way. So I park by the yellow-striped handicap walkway. It's not a handicap spot. That's to the left of the walkway. The spot I like is the first one of 7 parking spaces running along the sidewalk to the right of the yellow-striped handicap walkway.

I was elated to see that my very special parking space was open. As was the one next to it. A car was backing out farther down, so I stopped to wait for it to get out, and to drive by me. I had my left turn signal on, in case a car came up behind me on the way to the drive-through entrance. You know. A signal. Signifying that I was making a left turn, into that (or the other) empty parking space.

WEE-OH! WEE-OH! WEE-OH! [call the (British) waa-mbulance]

WOOP!WOOP!WOOP! [and the city police]

REE-REE-REE-REE-REE! [cue the Psycho stabby music in my head]

Imagine my surprise as a dressed-in-black dude on a motorcycle rounded the end of the gas pump row, came up behind the car I was waiting on to drive by me on the way off the lot, and PARKED ACROSS THOSE TWO EMPTY PARKING SPACES I WAS WAITING ON!


Surely he was just pulling across both spaces to get his big motorcycle in position to back into one of them.

No. He was not.

Motorcycle Dude parked sideways, across two parking spaces that I was clearly signaling to enter.

In a fit of pique, I drove down to the end of the gas pump row, made a right U-turn, and drove off the lot. To make a left turn in the traffic quagmire that is the un-traffic-lighted intersection of the county road out of (and into) town, and a used-car lot, and the exit road from Save A Lot, Subway, and a Dollar Store.

I was so hyped-up on rage that I didn't mind the 5-minute wait to get a left turn back towards the stoplight and Country Mart. Where I bought my scratchers instead. And had a $15 winner and a $10 winner.

Maybe Even Steven was just trying my patience...


Sioux Roslawski said...

You should have Tawanda-ed that motorcycle. I'm sure you're older and have more insurance than that motorcyclist...

Hillbilly Mom said...

He's not gonna get much older if he keeps pulling stunts like that! Maybe he'll park in a lake, the one where the ducks fly in, and it freezes, and then they'll haul him off when they fly away with the frozen lake.

BUT WAIT! Did you miss yesterday's post, with your very special title???

River said...

How dare he! On the other hand, you did get those two scratcher winners, so maybe that rider was Even Steven himself, making sure you got where you were supposed to be.

Hillbilly Mom said...

Who knew Even Steven was such a polarizing figure! But he got the job done. Herded me over to Country Mart like Jack's full-heeler dog-daddy.