In other headline news: Water is Wet. You can't tell Farmer H anything. Correction: you can tell him, but he won't listen. It's as if he has special earplugs that turn my voice into Charlie Brown's teacher.
Farmer H says he has mice in the BARn. A couple weeks ago, he showed me a picture, and said one ate a plastic drawer. I was skeptical. Anyhoo... I told him if he has such a mouse problem, he needs to call an exterminator!
No good can come of having a mouse in the BARn. Before you know it, that mouse will be a patriarch to an extended family of millions, and it will look like some horror story I saw on Hoarding: Buried Alive, where a guy had two houses, and one he kept just for the mice to live in, and he'd go over there to FEED THEM! They were like a living, breathing, scurrying, disease-spreading wall and floor! I had to look away.
Anyhoo... Farmer H started playing with his phone, and clicked on an ad that said the way to get rid of mice within a day is to use a sonic-wave-emitting device. He has something like that in the Mansion. Several. Plugged into electrical outlets. They might be part of the emergency light thingies. But the fact is, we rarely have a mouse, and it's just an isolated incident where one runs in the door, or squeezes through the weather stripping. The last critter we had was that weird baby mole, and it didn't last long on the sticky trap.
Anyhoo... Farmer H said he was going to The Devil's Playground to get a pack of mouse-getter-ridders. So I told him to pick up some toilet paper. No, we're not hoarding! We're down to 3 rolls, and we have 3 bathrooms. And 3 rumpuses!
Anyhoo... I texted Farmer H the brand. Charmin Ultra Extra Strong. So there would be no question. It was right there in black and off-white, on his phone.
I was not specific enough.
Farmer H came home with the Charmin. But the pack contained 6 rolls. 6!!!! We always get the 12 or 16 pack! How can he not know this? For 20 years, we've bought the big pack. When The Pony buys it, he lets it sit on the kitchen table for a week or so, before he gets around to taking it out of the pack to stack in the hall closet with the towels.
It's hardly worth the walk across The Devil's Playground, from the mouse-getter-ridders to the toilet paper, to only pick up 6 ROLLS!
I guess Farmer H will catch on, if he's going to become the new Devil's Playground shopper...
2 comments:
Be thankful you aren't currently living in New South Wales here in Australia. They are having a mouse plague in the millions or possibly Billions by now, truly they are overrun, and people, farmeres included, are desperately trying to kill them off and the animal activists are suggesting they simply catch them humanely and release them somewhere else. Clearly those do-gooders need to be taken to live in the infested area for a week to learn the full extent of the problem.
Anyway... who buys just a six pack of toilet rolls anymore?? Maybe little old ladies who live by themselves and barely eat anything. I live alone and even I buy a 12 or 20 pack at a time.
River,
NOOOO! Just the thought makes my skin crawl! How about the farmers catch the mice, and release them on the front porch of the do-gooders?
The saddest part of the TP purchase was that Farmer H was SO PROUD of himself for getting the "right" thing.
Post a Comment