Saturday, May 15, 2021

Rumors Of My (Impending) Death Have Been Greatly Repudiated

The Pony came home from his mail route Thursday with a nose running like a faucet. He cleared up a bit over the time he allowed us (about 15 minutes) to chat with him. Then he hustled off to his 2-hour bath.

"I am allergic to something at the end of my route! During the last two hours, my nose would not quit running. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to grass. That's when everybody came out and started mowing their lawns!"

"That wouldn't surprise me. You used to get a headache every time Dad mowed."

"One of the other carriers said it happens to her. She recommended Zyrtec. Didn't I used to take that when I was little?"

"Yes. But then you kind of grew out of it. Genius took it until he went away to college. Then he decided to stop."

"I'm leaving early tomorrow so I can buy some."

Well. The Pony came home at 7:15 on Friday, even more snotty.

"I think you must have picked up a cold. You really sound worse today."

"People were mowing again. If I had a cold, the Zyrtec wouldn't help."

"I can't tell that it's helping. When did you take it?"

"This morning about 8:15. I felt better afterwards."

"I don't know. Just stay away from me! I don't want to catch it."

"I thought you said Covid wasn't real."

"I never said that. I don't think you have THE VIRUS. I think you have a cold, and I don't want it! Especially because I LOSE MY TASTE every time I get a cold! Even though you weirdos apparently don't!"

"You're not going to catch it, HM. You're so dramatic."

"It could kill me!"

"A cold ain't gonna kill you."

"It COULD! I am NOT in good health!"

"No. You're not."

"We've been trying to tell you to get your knees fixed!"

"I am not worried about my knees right now. Don't get too close! At least you're off for two days, and you can rest up and get better."

"Oh, Dad. Here's my route next week."
"Now you've touched his phone! Don't touch your face!"
"Oh my lord. You are so dramatic!"
"I'm not sick, Mom. I think it's an allergy. I only took 6 Puffs with me, because I thought it would start in the evening again. But my nose was like this all day. So I had to blow my nose on napkins. That's why it's so red."
"You probably picked up a cold! Is anybody at work sick?"
"No. I'm only around them in the morning before I go out on the route. We all have to wear masks inside. And if I go in a business to deliver."
"Well, you've been sitting in your room for a year. And now you're out around people. You probably touched your face or rubbed your eyes."
"Yeah, Mom. I touch the mail, and then lick my hands..."
"I don't know what you do! Just stay away from me. You don't want to kill me, do you?"
"He's not going to kill you, HM."
"You say that NOW! But when you're putting me in the ground, maybe you'll pour some whiskey on my grave, for your Mommy who ain't here no more..."
Sweet Gummi Mary! I think they are in denial. I hope The Pony stays in his room for the weekend. You know. Like usual. He says he's going to drive around and look at the streets on his new route. I said I would drive him, so he can look while I pay attention to driving. But then, HE'S SICK, and I won't ride in T-Hoe with him... so that's not happenin'.


River said...

It's possible he DID catch a cold, but at this time of year, it's much more likely to be hayfever, and Zyrtec does work for some people and not for others, plus it takes a couple of days to get into the system and start working. Tell The Pony to keep taking it and see what happens. If he doesn't have relief in about three days, he could try something else.

Hillbilly Mom said...

He has taken it two days now. I thought from the clogginess, it was a cold progressing. Not sure if hay fever does that. Mine sinuses either stay stuffy, or stay runny, depending on what I encounter outside or inside.

River said...

Clogginess can still be allergies, noses and sinuses are tricky things. Clogginess is more likely to be a swelling of the tissues (allergies) rather than too much snot (either or).

Sioux Roslawski said...

Maybe he has a cold and has to build up his immunity, like us teachers had to. Newman was never sick, was he?

Hillbilly Mom said...

Clogginess is definitely what keeps me from tasting in the latter days of a cold. And when I get headaches driving to town in the fresh air. But then if I bend over just the right way, there's a flood of watery dripping clear snot. I guess I have a combination kind of allergies.

The Pony used to get sick every couple of months at OU. But that had a fever with it, and led to a cough. I guess he has to develop immunity to the local Hillmomba bugs again.

Newman wasn't sick. Just lazy. So he Tom-Sawyer-ed Jerry into delivering his accumulated undelivered mail (on a Sunday!) in hopes of getting a transfer to Hawaii.