Friday, May 21, 2021

I'm Pretty Sure This Involves False Advertising

During my Thursday errands, I knew I wasn't getting my usual Burger King Whopper meal. I had stuff at home to eat, but I still needed to pick up a 44 oz Diet Coke. Burger King has pretty good Diet Coke. Not like that watery McDonald's excuse, which my mom loved so much. I also decided to treat myself to a shake.
 
Let the record show that Burger King has delicious shakes. I prefer chocolate, but I saw on their menu that they have OREO SHAKES! Including a CHOCOLATE OREO SHAKE! So that's what I ordered.
 
Mere words cannot express my disappointment. But I'll try.
 
First of all, I was expecting a chocolate shake, with Oreos added. But my shake was not all that chocolate. I don't know if they didn't put in enough chocolate syrup, or what. My shake was so BLAND! It wasn't really chocolate, but it wasn't vanilla. It was neither fish nor fowl! Not that I would want a shake made of either...
 
As far as the OREO part of my Chocolate Oreo Shake, I am reminded of the old guy at the rooming house in the original True Grit, telling Glen Campbell's character La Boeuf , "Be careful of the chicken and dumplin's, they'll hurt your eyes." Glen says, "How's that?" And the old guy says, "They'll hurt your eyes lookin' for the chicken!" And then Glen calls him a squirrel-headed SOB. I can say all the lines along with them when I watch the movie. It's one of my favorites, though the acting is terrible.

Anyhoo... I think the OREO in my Chocolate Oreo Shake was just a suggestion. A hint. Like the fruit flavor in that La Croix sparkling water that Genius is so partial to. I think The Pony quoted a review off the innernets: 'Like the previous tenant once squeezed a lemon.'

Here's a picture of my cup when I was done with my Chocolate Oreo Shake.

 
Not all that chocolatey. Not much Oreo. You'd think the sides would be coated with particles of the Oreo. I suspect they might have ground up HALF AN OREO to put in my whole shake! No way could they make it so tiny that you can't see particles. It must have been as fine as the dust those Gold Rush miners hope to find in the mesh that lines their sluices.

 
Oh, look! I had one nugget left in the bottom! I should have dug it out of there and eaten it with a knife and fork! I won't be getting this Chocolate Oreo Shake again. It was terrible.

Of course that didn't keep me from slurping down every last drop...

2 comments:

River said...

I've been disappointed with chocolate shakes for years!
When I was a kid, they used real ice cream, full fat milk and a decent squirt of real chocolate syrup. Now everything is low fat and artificial flavours. I used to like pineapple shakes too, the syrup really tasted like pineapple.
These days I only have shakes in summer and I make them at home in the blender. With a double serve of chocolate syrup.
Have you noticed the spelling blooper in your title?

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
OH MY GOSH! You are dead right about the quality of shakes these days! I tried one at Dairy Queen today, a Raspberry Chip version. Good thing I only got a small. It was NOT good. Tasted like the "ice cream" probably arrived as a giant bag of liquid, and was poured into the machine to cool and thicken. Maybe our resident DQ insider can expound on that. It was like thin ice cream, with crystals. At least it had chocolate "chips" that were left coating the sides of the clear cup. I should have taken a picture, but I was even less happy with it than my Oreo Chocolate Shake!

I've never had a pineapple shake, but I liked the pineapple part of a banana split, back when I was a kid. I think it came from Dairy Queen, and I had nothing to compare it to, and thought it was good!

Thanks for the tip on my blooper. FIXED IT! I guess maybe I should also proofread the title. Typing these at 2:00 a.m. with my fat fingers is probably not the best routine. When I read some older posts, I usually find two or three typos in them.