Who knew this was going to turn into a whole SERIES on people who don't respect my space? My PARKING space! No sooner had I written up my account of the Brown Sedan encroachment than I found myself trapped in T-Hoe once again, by a close-parker!
This time, I was fortunate to have just slammed my door after getting back IN. And here came a weird looking little old dude, a fringe of hair like Ben Franklin, in a little black Honda. I was in front of the School-Turn Casey's, having just purchased my scratchers (only a $5 winner). As usual, I had cheated over to the right side of my own parking space, tires on the line by the handicap walkway.
Good thing I DID! Look at how this doofus parked!
The angle and the reflection do not do justice to Little Black Honda Ben's injustice of pinning me in. I don't think T-Hoe's door would have opened even one notch, much less to the fullest. The worst part was that THE PARKING SPACES ON HIS LEFT WERE EMPTY! At least two of them. Maybe three. I swear, this makes me want to fling my door open, and say (after the satisfaction of the metallic CLUNK), "Oh. I didn't realize you were so close."
I swear, I feel like I took THE VIRUS jab that is giving people this weird side effect of magnets sticking to them, except that I have infected T-Hoe with it! Why are people parking SO CLOSE to me? Like I'm one of those giant electronic magnets used by car-crushing cranes to lift entire automobiles!
I really wanted to back up, drive to the other side of the Little Black Honda, and park thisclose to HIM. Just to see the look on ol' Ben's face when he came out. I didn't. Because people are crazy these days.
6 comments:
People ARE crazy these days. Better to keep your mumbling to an inaudible volume, and keep your venom from squirting out.
Sioux,
I cannot change my spots! My venom flows freely!
Today an old guy cut in front of me at the Gas Station Chicken Store. He looked RIGHT AT ME as he came in the door, where I was waiting my turn after an addled woman, and a mother-son. But no, he got in line behind the mother-son, and made sure to scrunch up behind them as they were finishing up, so I couldn't take my rightful turn.
As I was waddling back to T-Hoe, he drove past with the window of his truck down. "You KNOW you took my turn! So don't pretend you didn't!" I don't know if he heard me, but he didn't come back to ram T-Hoe like a person who is older and has more insurance.
This is getting weird with people parking too close and then pushing into line deliberately. Maybe you need to start "accidentally" whacking some ankles with your cane and parking that close to others so they can't get in or out. Then you can pretend to be deaf when they yell at you. Get a megaphone like Granny Clampett and hold it to your ear.
River,
Heh, heh! I could replace the tennis balls on my walker with NAILS, and step on a few toes in line!
Seems to be an epidemic of selfish reasoning going around! As long as they get what they want they could care less about others!
Kathy,
It's a sign I need to redouble my efforts to get my proposed handbasket factory up and running.
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