Tuesday afternoon, I puttered around the kitchen, doing laundry, catching up on my innernets, and playing Candy Crush Saga before heading to town for my 44 oz Diet Coke. Farmer H was hanging around the grounds, but only came in once for the bathroom.
With The Pony at work, I was pretty much left to my own devices. I didn't exactly dance like no one was watching, or sing like I didn't need the money, [Kathy Mattea "Come From the Heart"] but I suited myself.
When I stood up from the kitchen table to go throw my laundry in the dryer, I was startled by a critter on the kitchen floor, right in front of the laundry room door. It wasn't moving, thank the Gummi Mary! It was kind of flat! Being on my own, with nobody to answer to, I stepped over it!
Seriously. Why should I be the one to always pick up the flattened critters from the floor? I was sure Farmer H had tromped on it with his workboots when he came in from mowing to poop-up the master bathroom. In fact, he probably brought it IN on his boots.
The thing was black. It looked like a spider at first. But closer, it looked like a cricket. I didn't have on my glasses. Not that they would help, what with their bifocals discombobulating me when I try to wear them while walking around and looking down. But closer-up, I thought I could discern a thorax and six legs. Or maybe a flattened spider with two legs crushed underneath...
Anyhoo... it was there when I got back from town. So definitely not alive-enough to chase me. Farmer H was still outside. The Pony came in the front door. Poor Pony. The first thing I said to him was NOT "How was your day?" It was:
"Pony! Can you get a paper towel and scoop up that dead cricket-spider? I'm not sure what it is."
Ever-dutiful, The Pony scooped. I was at the kitchen counter, my back to him, when he BROUGHT IT TO ME!
"Um. Mom. It's NEITHER!"
"Ugh! Get it away! I don't want to SEE it! I just want it thrown away."
"Mom! It's a piece of THREAD!"
"What? Oh. It must have unraveled from my sock... Well. Thanks for picking it up."
"I think maybe you should wear your glasses more."
And I probably should not be left unattended for great lengths of time.
2 comments:
Thread! Oh my gosh that's funny. That's like the "hair spiders" I used to see in my daughters bathroom. She has long hair and when shampooing always loses a few strands, so she rolls them around between her hands to form a "spider" which then gets 'pasted' to the wall because hair shouldn't be going down drains, but sometimes she would forget to remove them when she was finished.
River,
Heh, heh! Bathtub spiders! The Pony just bought a plastic thing that I mistook for a sink strainer, and he held it up proudly. "LOOK! To catch my hair so it doesn't go down the shower drain!"
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