You would think I'd ceased being surprised any more. Surprised at the things I see in the convenience stores I frequently frequent. After all, I believe I showed you the plumber's crack guy putting air in his tires while airing out his (plumber's) crack for all to see. Meaning me and The Pony.
Still, I like to kid myself into thinking Hillmomba is a normal place.
Thursday, I stopped by the Liquor Store on my way to mail Genius's weekly letter. I needed scratchers to tuck inside at the last minute. Of course I chose the busiest rush hour time at the Liquor Store. Which seems to be at 12:30 on a Thursday afternoon.
There are often 7 or 8 cars parked on the lot, not counting those in the drive-thru line. Yet when I go inside, the place looks deserted! I can't figure out where those people go. Maybe two or three are employee vehicles. Maybe a man and a woman in the bathrooms. But where are the others? Is there a secret card game in the back? A room for smoking the wacky tobacky that accoutrements are sold for? Hidden slot machines in a mini casino? I can't figure it out.
However... on this day, all the car drivers were in plain sight, right there in a line in the close quarters of the Liquor Store. I was fifth in line. Some guy was having problems with his card while trying to pay. The next lady only had a 44 oz soda. What a freak! The third guy was holding a case of beer, patiently. But it's the fourth guy that gave me pause.
He had entered just ahead of me. Not trying to beat me like a smart-aleck Pony-person. He just walked faster. Came up behind me as I hobbled up the blacktop ramp to the door. I didn't pay him much mind. Twenty-something, scraggly hair not long nor short. Just shy of the shoulders. Thin, nondescript brown, parted on the side. Faded jeans. A faded brown t-shirt. He went to the end of the line proper, standing down the middle aisle. I stood to the side, by the outer aisle, so as not to crowd in.
THAT'S when I noticed. Cigarette smoke was choking me. Drifting over the shelves to invade my lungs. Huh. I guess that guy had been smoking as he walked in. People leave their butts on the parking lot all the time. Just flick them away with thumb and middle finger as they enter. I'm sure you've caught a glimpse in my penny photos.
WAIT A MINUTE! Smokey came up out of the aisle, and stepped over by the door to FLICK HIS ASH IN THE METAL CANISTER ASH TRAY!
HE WAS ACTIVELY SMOKING! INSIDE!
I'm pretty sure there's a law against that. Of course I didn't say anything. I'm not the smoke police. But I was kind of incensed! Hot under the collar. Smoldering with resentment. I do not hang out in liquor stores to catch lung cancer!
Anyhoo... I'm not sure what Smokey bought. It seems like they had a bag ready for him at the counter. He said he'd be back tomorrow to pay for the rest. Did he put something on lay-a-way? Was this a clandestine drug deal in plain sight? I don't know. The bag was a dark color. Not sure what they use for bags in that place. I've never bought anything that required one.
When Farmer H came home, I told him about Smokey.
"That's against the law! You can't smoke in a public place!"
"Actually, it's not. Not in Hillmomba. The owner can decide if they want to allow smoking."
Surely he was talking out his rumpus! Making up stuff again. GASLIGHTING, if you will...
I looked it up. FARMER H WAS RIGHT!
Here's the link to Missouri Health and Human Services rules. And this pasted section:
The law stipulates the following are not considered a “public place”:
- Private residences
- Tobacco stores where greater than 50% of sales is related to tobacco products
- Performers on stage if smoking is part of the production
- Limousines for hire and taxicabs, where driver and all passengers agree to allow smoking
- Any enclosed indoor arena, stadium or other facility seating more than 15,000 persons and which may be used for sporting events
- An entire room or hall used for private social functions, provided that seating arrangements are under control of the function’s sponsor and not the proprietor
WELL! The Liquor Store is actually named Cheap Smokes Beer Liquor and Loans. So I guess that's their main business. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, even INSIDE the store!
I hate it when Farmer H is right. He's not even a smoker! I guess he has such a vast array of friends in different social strata that he's heard about it from the business owners.
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Heh, heh! I googled it to get the exact name of the store, and WAY WAY down the page of Google Reveiws, I found this gem:
"Needs A lot Of Help...Seems Like A Store Front For Something illegal.."
Mrs. HM is not the only person in Hillmomba who can pick up vibes from a place.
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6 comments:
That's why I walked into a "Cheap Cigarettes and Liquor" store a couple of years ago, and there was a guy smoking inside the store.
Yeah, we all hate when Farmer H is right.
Sioux,
Were you there to buy cheap cigarettes, or cheap liquor? I KNOW you weren't buying scratchers! I wonder why they don't have people hanging out inside drinking, too.
For every time Farmer H is right, there are 25 times that he royally wreaks havoc. Like today, on MOTHER'S DAY. Story coming up somewhere, maybe tomorrow.
Here in Australia smoking inside is illegal, even smoking within the confines of an open bus shelter is illegal. Smoking in taxis and buses, trains and trams is illegal.
You can still smoke inside your own home and car if you want to, but I know a lot of people who go outside to smoke even in their own homes, they'll step out to the front or back porch so as not to contaminate the interior with permeated smoke.
River,
We could always tell the students who lived in a home with a smoker. It gets into EVERYTHING! Clothes, hair, books, backpacks. So obvious if you're not a smoker yourself. You have to be careful and not accuse them of being the culprit if a cigarette is discovered in the bathroom. They smell that way every day, whether a butt is found or not.
"THAT" smell is what does me in. I breathed it at work every day and every day by the time I got home I was coughing hard enough to rip out my lungs. EVERY DAY! It's the main reason I quit.
River,
You gotta do what you gotta do. Jobs come and go, but your health stays with you forever. Until it doesn't...
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