The Pony has not dipped a dainty hoof in POOLIO all summer. He used to love floating around on a raft, listening to his devil-music. Sure, he's working now. But when he comes home all bedraggled from the 90-degree heat and upper-80s humidity on those steamy rainy days, surely POOLIO would be more refreshing than a hot bath in the big triangle tub in the master bathroom. I asked him about it on Sunday.
"Are you never going to get in POOLIO this summer?"
"I don't know..."
"WHY! Dad isn't always in it. You have two days off now. Well, one. Since we've spent today at the casino. Wouldn't it be refreshing when you got home from work?"
"Actually, it's the steps."
"The STEPS! They're right there on the porch outside the laundry room! It's not like when you had to go through the basement, or around the house, or climb over the porch rail and step down on the deck rail and plastic storage couch."
"Yeah. But after a whole day of work, my legs don't like steps. Even coming down to talk to you in the basement. That's why I holler from the top that I'm home."
"You could drive your car around to the back yard... Oh, wait. Thanks to Dad's re-design, you CAN'T. Because there isn't a way to get in POOLIO from the yard now. If somebody was drowning, you'd have to run around front and up on the porch to get back down to the pool to save them!"
"HM. Even if you COULD get to the pool from the yard now... that would still be STEPS."
Everybody has excuses!
POOLIO's chemicals are pretty expensive, to justify only Farmer H taking a dip 4 or 5 times a summer. I'm always telling him to go take an $800 swim. Even though I think he's spent about $200 so far on the chemicals. Summer isn't over yet, though! I ought to keep a tally of his swimming sessions and the cost, and divide it out. Not because I'm a miser. Just to mess with Farmer H.
6 comments:
I think Farmer H could earn enough to keep the pool open. I think it would be such a moneymaking endeavor, he'd have money left over.
Start an Instagram account, and have Farmer H post daily pictures. You can call it "Poolio Couture." Each day, Farmer H can pose in what he wears when he gets into the pool.
I can see the money rolling in...
I forgot to say: nice serving of Phil Collins.
Once The Pony's legs become more accustomed to all the walking, he might decide that a few extra steps to get into the pool aren't such a bad idea.
Sioux,
Good thing I wasn't eating when I read that! I am not on social media, and have no desire to be banned on my first attempt. I'm pretty sure pictures of Farmer H in his "swimming suit" would violate numerous rules of service. Any money rolling in would most likely be used for my bail, or lawyer fees.
Sioux 2,
I am no fan of Phil Collins, and I hate that song with a passion... but the title was too good not to steal for this one.
***
River,
He MIGHT. I'm not sure how many steps. I'm thinking about 8, but I'm not walking up the 13 rail-less basement stairs tonight to go out and count them. I wonder if The Pony has a limit on how many extra steps he's willing to ascend and descend after work. There are 4 steps up to the porch to get into the Mansion. So he's at least okay with 4, since he comes into the house to nightly-soak and sleep.
I rarely take a swim in my own pool, being too busy or too tired, so I get that. W are always asked to keep the pool open for the month of September. We have done it twice and nobody swims! Cost too much to keep it going if there are no swimmers.
Kathy,
This morning I found ANOTHER receipt from the pool store, for $74. Farmer H needs to get POOLIOing! Right now I think it equates to $27 a swim. Admission for him will be increasing, because he sure won't be in it during his vacation out west to visit his brother.
Around Labor Day, Farmer H will buy even MORE chemicals to get POOLIO ready for the winter pool closing.
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