Even Steven Is The New Snag In The Pantyhose

Well. Somebody had big ears. Or at least big eyes. I should have known that I'm always being monitored. Now Even Steven has unraveled a thread in the rich tapestry of my life. How dare I write about serving up a cold dish of revenge to my bank, for making me do bond redemption through the drive-thru tube! 

Dang that Even Steven! If the women of the world still wore those torture contraptions called pantyhose, he would be otherwise occupied, and might leave me alone with my revenge fantasy. But no. He had to report me to the bank, so those drive-thru tellers could beat me to the punch.

I went to the bank on Wednesday. NOT to redeem savings bonds. I have to work up to that idea. No, I was going to deposit money that I set aside each week for our six-month auto insurance payment. It's so much easier now that I do that, and don't have to scramble to decide where we're going to pull that money from. It's right there in the safe, in a marked envelope, ready for deposit to write the check.

Also, I was making a withdrawal from The Pony's account (per his instructions) for the money he is paying us for HIS car insurance for the next six months. I had two transaction slips ready, and was going to make a pointed declaration when they greeted me, to make sure they USED MONEY FOR THE RIGHT ACCOUNTS this time!

I was running a bit late. Darn that Candy Crush! I'm severely addicted. As long as I have lives and free stuff, I keep playing on HIPPIE at the kitchen table. Anyhoo... It was 3:00 when I got in the shower. It's at least 20 minutes to the bank. 25 if I hit the red light by Burger King. Still, I thought I had time. I'm pretty sure the drive-thru is open until 4:30. Maybe later. But I used to have time to get there after school when I was working.

Of course I hit the red light. Even WORSE, the lady in front of me was not paying attention! Once it turned green, she sat there. At least five car lengths opened up ahead of her. SWEET GUMMI MARY! I hit T-Hoe's horn. THAT got 'er goin'! I guess she was playing with her phone. Probably Candy Crush...

Anyhoo... T-Hoe's clock said it was 4:05 when I pulled into the middle lane at my bank. The green light was on. In REAL time, it was 3:58. I reached out and pushed the SEND button, which is what you have to do to open the smoked-safety-glass window thingy to get the canister.

NOTHING.

Well, crap! Did they close at 4:00? Why was the green light still on? I hit the button again. Nothing. Dead as a doornail. Hey! There were two girls inside, partially behind computer screens.

"Oh, are you already closed?"

I asked the smoked-safety-glass door of the tubes, I guess. Since nobody had greeted me, and there was no clicky sound as if a microphone was being activated. I asked twice. Then a blond girl leaned around her computer screen, giggling.

"Sorry. We had to poop."

WELL! That was certainly most inappropriate! But what she said next was even worse!

"Here it comes."

WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN???

Then I realized that she'd said, "We have the tube."

Heh, heh! That was certainly a relief. They were sending me the TUBE! Not poop.

I'm still wondering WHY they had the tube. Trying to make people think they were closed? If so, they really needed to turn off that green light over the middle drive-thru lane. I don't know why else they would have the canister they call a tube, since each customer should be getting a receipt after their transaction.

________________________________________________________________________

Their website says the hours of the drive-thru are 9:00 - 4:30. AND they have lobby hours now, from 9:00 - 2:00 on Tuesday-Friday. Good to know...

________________________________________________________________________