Saturday, April 2, 2022

Making Pain Out Of Nothing At All

Old People Problems! Mrs. HM's body had betrayed her once again!

I left home Friday with two perfectly functioning shoulders, and returned with ONE! No, I didn't misplace a shoulder and leave it in town. I had both my shoulders. But only one was functioning. I cry shenanigans! I didn't DO ANYTHING to hurt my shoulder while in town. I didn't do anything to hurt it before I left, nor after I got back. But it wasn't working right!

Oh, I could move it in the same way I did before. But it caused incredible pain! Which has worsened in the four hours since I've been home. It's terrible! I use my shoulder a lot. A lot more than I ever imagined. That pain is a good reminder.

The pain is in the muscle, not the joint itself. It's in the front of the right shoulder, about four inches across the chest from my armpit. If I lift my arm straight up pointing to the sky, the front doesn't hurt much, but the pain goes to the back, to my shoulder blade. It hurts a lot if I use my right hand to push up from a chair, by holding onto the table. It hurts when I walk. It hurts even when I use my LEFT hand to hold onto a wall or counter to steady myself. That pain jumps right to my right shoulder/chest.

I do not know of one instant when I injured myself. I think it was a combination of three actions over the past 24 hours.

Thursday, when I came home from town, I carried several bags of groceries up the porch steps. Usually, I set the bags on the metal chair on the side porch, climb the steps, unlock the door, and come back for them. But this time, I didn't want to try and thread those plastic bags over my arm again. I had my purse, and a couple heavy bags that included 8 bananas, two bags of slaw mix, a giant box of Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies, a box of microwave popcorn, a can of corned beef, and a pack of fudge mint graham cracker cookies for Farmer H. Not heavy for a normal person, but heavy for old Mrs. HM all on one arm. Which I had to keep bent lest the bags slide off, and flapped like a chicken wing as I limped up the four steps.

Thursday evening, I descended to my dark basement lair to try the new printer cartridge to print the tax returns (it worked!). I think I held one step too far onto the board that runs along the carpet edge where it bends down into that rectangular stair hole from the living room. Which might have strained my right arm a bit while it was over my head.

Friday, I parked in a hole I didn't realize. Not an actual hole, but over a depression in the blacktop parking lot of Save A Lot. So when I went to hoist myself up onto T-Hoe's running board to climb inside, it was harder than usual. I needed more force on my right arm where I grabbed the plastic trim that runs from the dashboard up along the windshield. I think that was the last straw. Three strikes, and my shoulder/chest was out!

I have taken my nightly aspirin. It has done not much of anything for the pain. Which isn't too bad until I move the wrong way. Or try to stand up or walk or sit down. I asked The Pony to bring the fallen tube of BenGay from the spooky master bathroom. It expired in 2019, but it's worth a try.

At least my injury doesn't interfere with rumpus-wiping...

4 comments:

River said...

Aha!! The fallen Bengay. "IT" knew this shoulder pain was coming.
Imagine the difference a chair lift would make on those stairs to the porch. Not for you, you don't need one, but one with a box instead of a seat where you could load the grocery bags into then push a button and up to the top of the stairs they would go. Then you could carry them in one at a time.
Rest the shoulder, but keep it moving so it doesn't seize up.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
That DOES seem like not-a-coincidence! I usually set the bags down on the metal chair on the side porch. Or if they're heavy, I just set them on the porch in front of the chair. I didn't want to take the time to get them off my arm and back on again. Big mistake!

I used some of the old BenGay that night. It smelled normal, but didn't give much heat. It was kind of runny, even after I shook the tube. It must have helped. The next day the pain was about 50 percent less. I took an acetaminophen before going to town. That helped with getting into T-Hoe. The pain came back a bit, but now it's another 50 percent less. So I should be healed in a day or two.

River said...

Ditch the old and now runny Bengay and buy a new one.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
That's a good idea, but I will probably buy TheraGesic instead. It packs more of a burn. I also have a tube of TheraGesic (expired) down in my lair.