The Universe continues to conspire against Mrs. HM...
Let the record show that when I shower, I do not like to scrub my thin skin with a nubby washcloth. I use the bar of soap itself. I always rinse it off and start on a cleanish section like my arms, since you never know what orifice Farmer H might have ended his shower scrubbing. When I feel that the bar of soap is sufficiently clean enough to proceed, I swipe it over my face.
This method has worked for years. I've not gotten a disease, nor blinded myself. But on Saturday, The Universe was cutting up, full of shenanigans, wreaking havoc with Mrs. HM's tried and true method.
I WASHED OUT MY OWN MOUTH WITH SOAP!!!
Oh, the horror! A bar of Irish Spring poking its end between my lips! Slipping right off my upper lip and into my mouth. Ptooey! That is not a good taste!
Surely this is not some kind of irony... no specific message The Universe is trying to confer.
6 comments:
I prefer to just use the bar of soap too, but not on my face. I lather up my hands and wash my face with that instead. No chance of any bar of soap landing in my mouth that way.
River,
Duly noted. I might need to modify my technique.
Yum! The Patient uses bar soap the way you do. I am certain he is being considerate of me and not using that washcloth saves me so much as far as laundry goes! I prefer body wash loaded with moisturizers. My sister was of the opinion that older skin, such as my own, should be treated delicately. "Dab, dab, dab" she would say as she put moisturizer on her face. She was 2 years older than me and looked 10 years older. Her skin was very wrinkled despite her dabbing. I use a pouf and once a week I exfoliate my entire body of skin. After I shower, while still damp, I slather my body skin with Jergens cream. OLd kind, cheap and somewhat greasy feeling, but my skin is not dry. I scrub my face with a brush just for that purpose and use Pond's moisturizer for aging skin. Cheaper than the Great Value stuff that mimics Oil of Olay. I am surprised I don't simply slide off the bed at night! I am of the opinion that my skin needs to be scrubbed and rubbed vigorously to increase blood flow to my skin. All this to say the bar of soap has yet to enter my mouth! And my sister was wrong .....
Kathy,
Heh, heh! You KNOW you are hoping your sister will wash her aging mouth out with soap!
Yikes on the scrubbing of your skin. But the Jergens must be your savior. My grandma used to have a bottle of Jergens on her bathroom sink. I loved helping myself to a squirt, and the smell still takes me back to that time when I was living next door to her, a latchkey kid who rushed over for help when I sliced my finger with a razor blade while sawing the leg off a tiny plastic horse. No. I'm not a psycho...
It is not the bottle of lotion you are thinking about with the Jergens. It is a big plastic jar with a pink top with thick creamy pinkness inside. It doesn't have that almond smell like the lotion. My skin seems to soak it right up!
Kathy,
WHAT? There's a big plastic jar? Why was I not told this? Indeed, I was thinking of the bottle with the almond aroma. I didn't even know it was almond until many many years later. Another thing I was not told! Too bad you can't get a barrel of it, and submerge yourself for a full coating.
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