Friday, July 15, 2022

The Biggest Snoozer VS The Biggest Loser

It is no secret that Mrs. HM keeps odd hours. I go to bed in the wee hours, between 3:00 and 6:00 a.m., and come to life around 11:00 or noon. Farmer H goes to bed with the chickens and is up with the chickens. Except we no longer have chickens.
 
Monday morning, he was headed out bright and early to pick up his old man helper, and go to work on the house of former Back-Creek Neighbor Bev, which is about 45 minutes away.
 
I was peacefully snoozing, and did not notice when Farmer H clambered out of bed and began his morning routine. Until...
 
"Um. I don't mean to wake you, but do you have a key to the truck?"
 
"What? Yeah. I have a key on my key ring. It looks just like T-Hoe's key, but it's on the ring with all the other keys. It's in the side of my purse."
 
"Okay. I've lost mine. So I'm going to take your key off until I can find mine."
 
Whatever. I had about 39 winks of beauty sleep left to go, so I didn't dwell on it. Indeed, as I left for town, the SilverRedO key was gone from my key ring. I'd only need it in an emergency if T-Hoe wouldn't start. No big deal.
 
When Farmer H got home later that evening, he still hadn't found his key. He keeps each vehicle on a separate key ring, and leaves them on the dresser in the bedroom. So at least he still had his house key with his Storage Unit Store keys, and a key for A-Cad laying there, plus his BARn and other outbuilding keys. It's not like he lost everything. 

"What did you drive when you went to meet that guy up at your Storage Unit on Sunday evening?"

"The truck."

"Oh. So you had the truck key at least when you got home last night. It's got to be here somewhere."

"Yeah. I've looked all around outside and in the truck. I think I'll check the recliner again. I looked this morning but didn't see it. But my knife is gone, too. So maybe they fell out of my shorts pocket when I was sitting in the recliner last night."

Yep. That's where Farmer H found his SilverRedO key. And his knife. He put MY SilverRedO key back on my key ring like I commanded. I'd just gotten my A-Cad key back from The Pony last Thursday. So I guess around the Mansion, I could demand to be addressed as The Keymaster.

8 comments:

Alice said...

I remember as a teenager in high school, I would look inside of my dad's recliner when I needed some change for school. It was my own secret piggy bank!

Sioux Roslawski said...

So, you're master of your key domain? Hmmm.

(How about separate beds? Sometimes that makes for happy bedfellows...)

Hillbilly Mom said...

Alice,
Heh, heh! You could use Farmer H's recliner as your own secret pantry! I'm sure there are enough crumbs to support at least one person during a famine.

***
Sioux,
In a manner of speaking! But I stop short of burying my keys in a box with a dead parrot.

I wish The Pony would clean out his bedroom, so I could use it for a backup plan when Farmer H is sick and spewing cooties out his breather. Or to get an occasion full night of sleep with full blanket coverage, and no elbow-jabs to my back.

River said...

I hereby pronounce you Keymaster, but I won't be sending my spare keys for safe keeping because it's a long way to come when I need one. Besides, I never lose them, or should I say I've never lost any yet? when I am home they are in the bowl, when I am out they are in my left hand jacket pocket. No deviation, ever.

River said...

Pack up The Pony's bedroom and deliver it to his house.

Hillbilly Mom said...

River,
Thank you for my official title! But people like you would put my unpaid position of Keymaster out of business!

River 2,
Easier said by you than done by me! I can't lift those totes that are stacked in front of the bed. Funny how The Pony was just here on Thursday, and took ONE BAG of stuff with him. I should have asked him to at least move the totes away from the bed. Farmer H has been having trouble with his grip, and needs a partner to help him lift things now. I am not that partner!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I bow to you madam, the keeper of the keys! I am the one who loses mine on a regular basis. I never get upset, knowing they must be somewhere. I would be climbing over those totes to get to a bed I could occupy all by myself!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Kathy,
I sometimes leave my keys sticking in the kitchen doorknob, because the lock is messed up, and if I'm carrying groceries, I don't have a free hand to jiggle it. The longest I'd lose them there would be 24 hours, time for my next town trip.

You are much more nimble than I. Except maybe for rolling down that hill from your She Shed.