The Day Of Double Rumpusholes

Remember yesterday, when I told you about a rumpushole who ruined my lottery purchase on Thursday? Well. He was not the only rumpushole I encountered.

I started for home, cresting the hill by Farmer H's old Storage Unit Store, obeying the speed limit like a person who cares about her permanent record. I never speed along that strip of road, because there are numerous side streets, including one to the elementary school. People are always pulling out, sometimes not waiting their proper turn. The speed limit there is 45 mph, and I don't exceed it.

Right before I got to the turn for Mick the Mechanic's shop, which signifies the end of town and the beginning of the section of road that heads past the prison and over the bridge to the Mansion turn-off, I noticed a little gray-green SUV coming up fast behind me. FAST. Almost attaching itself to T-Hoe's bumper.

The speed limit here is 55. Shh... don't tell anyone, but I sometimes drive 60 on this stretch of road. Not with a tailgater, though. They make me feel unsafe. And a little bit perturbed. So I keep my speed at the legal limit.

This Rumpushole was having none of it. Getting as close to T-Hoe as he could, and then riding over the center line to see. Weaving back and forth. On bumper. Over center line. If he had only backed off a little bit, it would have been easier to see if he had an opportunity to pass. He was asking to get his rumpus handed to him if he darted out while a car was oncoming.

Anyhoo... I found this highly distracting. If he got out there and got hit, I could be involved in the collateral damage. On the semi-straight stretch leading up to the bridge, Rumpushole darted out to pass. Remember that I was going 55 mph. I kept my speed steady. Rumpushole must have been going at least 70 mph when he darted around me. 

Not gonna lie. I flipped him the bird. The big ol' badfinger. Just to let off some steam. I didn't think he would actually see it, because who looks into the window of a car you're passing when you're going 70 mph coming up on a bridge with nowhere to pull off if there's an oncoming car?

Rumpushole hit the bridge and started fishtailing! That's what too much speed will do to you, especially when the road is wet from rain. He got his little gray-green SUV under control, but was still in the middle of the center line as he exited the bridge. I had my left blinker on to turn onto the blacktop road that leads to our gravel road.

Ahead of me, I saw Rumpushole stick his whole left arm out the window, flipping me the bird. Heh, heh! What a nincompoop. I couldn't give a fat rat's rumpus what he did. He was away from me, speeding towards his own destruction. No way could he know if I even saw his birdie.

I was inwardly chortling at the though of him coming up on the white pickup truck that had been ahead of me. Some people make their own drama.