Thursday, December 24, 2020

I Give Up

Remember yesterday, when I was having a problem with Farmer H trying to give a stained hat as a gift? Sure you do! Who could forget an act so heinous? I even told him it was for his own son! The bright orange hat with fur ear flaps, suitable for a hunter.

I asked Farmer H if he'd brought another hat home from his Storage Unit Store. 

"No. That one is fine."

"It has a stain on it!"

"Not no more. I cleaned it."

"With WHAT?"

I don't remember the name. Something that sounded harsh. According to Farmer H, it took the stain right off. I picked up the hat, laying exactly where I'd left it, and I must admit, the black stain was not apparent. There might have been a smudge. Or maybe an appearance that a solvent had been applied. But if I hadn't been looking for it, I might not have noticed.

"I guess I'll go ahead and wrap it for him..."

"The Veteran don't care if his hat has a stain on it! If he says anything, I'll tell him that I had them up at my store, and somebody must have stepped on it."

That's a bit presumptuous, if you ask me. Which I'm sure you are. "Mrs. HM! Did you REALLY wrap a stained gift to give The Veteran?" Yes. And I'm not proud. But at least I know I made The Veteran an Oreo cake, with nothing wrong with it, that he purely LOVES. Plus, I gave him the best knife set out of the ones that WE bought from Farmer H's Storage Unit Store. And he's also getting Chex Mix, a cash gift, and four scratchers. 

Maybe Even Steven will see fit to compensate The Veteran for his stained hat.


River said...

I do hope Farmer H at least rinsed off whatever solvent he used so the hat doesn't blister The Veteran's forehead. I'm sure you'll be forgiven once the Oreo cake is spied, sliced and eaten, it wasn't your fault after all.

Hillbilly Mom said...

The good news is, the stain was on the outside of the hat, right above the fake fur forehead flap. I'm not sure if it's waterproof, but it's more than plain fabric. There's a lining inside. So I don't think the solvent went all the way through.

The bad news is, I'm not sure that hat will fit The Veteran. He had to have a special Army helmet made when he went to Iraq, because his head was too big for all their helmets! Of course, when I mentioned this to Farmer H about his flap-hats, he said, "They're one size fits all! Of course it will fit The Veteran!"

He DOES love that Oreo cake! I'm sure he would connect any hat issue to Farmer H, and not to me!

Sioux Roslawski said...

If only Farmer H could clean his other messes as thoroughly as he cleaned up the stain on that hat...

Hillbilly Mom said...

I think you are psychic, and mean this comment for the post coming up today, Saturday, shortly after 1:00 p.m.