Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Niecy Has An Aunt Problem

Heh, heh! Don't you love those Geico commercials? The young renter couple who have a bit of a clogging problem? The new homeowners out in the yard, admitting they have an issue with the neighbors' fencing? And the poor couple who have moved into a new home, with an aunt infestation.

I'm afraid my niece, Niecy, might make a commercial about HER aunt problem! That would be about ME! I don't mean to be a problem. But I DID give her young daughter, Niecy Jr, a little Christmas box with only a picture of her future present in it.

Well. That present arrived on MONDAY, after 3:30, when I came home from town to see that the mail had finally been delivered. I sent a text to my sister the ex-mayor's wife, telling her that it was here, and that I was going to wrap it and get it to Niecy Jr on Tuesday, when I came to town.

Here's the thing. I haven't been in Niecy's house. We don't hang out. She hasn't been out here since she was a kid. We always meet at Sis's house for holidays. I told Sis that I was in a hurry, not planning to get out, and Sis said I could just bring it to HER house, and she'd get it to Niecy Jr. They babysat her until she started school a couple years ago. She's there a lot now when Niecy is busy doing teacher stuff.

I opened up the box to make sure the Unicorn Night Light was okay. It was. It's a hard plastic or resin, white, with pink accents, and GLITTER WINGS! The light is inside, with an ON/OFF switch on the bottom, no plugging into a socket necessary. I wanted to put in the 3 AAA batteries so it would work when she opened it. There was a tiny Phillips-head screw holding the battery door closed. So Farmer H took it downstairs and put in the batteries I'd fetched. When he brought it back upstairs, I wrapped it.

Of course I forgot to put the instruction sheet back in the box! So I had to fold it up and stick it down the side flap of the wrapping paper. I told Sis to take it out, and then put it in the box after Niecy Jr unwrapped her unicorn.

I don't know what Niecy and Niecy Jr had planned for Tuesday. I told Sis that I would drop off the unicorn after 2:00, on my way to the bank. Ironically, Niecy's house is right by the turn I make to get to Sis's house. I mean RIGHT BY the turn. If I turned left instead of right, I'd be on the road 50 feet from Niecy's back door. But she didn't need to know that! For all she knew, I came by AFTER the bank, so was in a different part of town.

Anyhoo... when I got to Sis's house, I parked by the garage doors, and texted her that I was there. She raised a garage door and came out. Their kitchen has a door that opens into the garage. The temperature was 35 degrees. Sis came out and opened T-Hoe's passenger door for the unicorn present, and said,

"I don't have on any shoes!"

"Well! Climb in for a minute! You don't need to be standing on cold concrete!"

"I can't step on your running board!"

Well, excuuuuuuuse me! I live a mile up a gravel road. T-Hoe's running board will gather dust and dried mud. I don't stop to wipe down the passenger side running board when I get to civilization! Sis is lucky that we didn't have slush and snow, in which case she might have busted her very own rumpus by climbing onto the icy running board.

Anyhoo... she climbed in, which was kind of entertaining, because it's a higher step than she has on her own Ford Excursion running board, which is automatic, and closes up until the door is opened, when it reveals itself for stepping. The main problem was that Sis has that bad thumb from slicing herself with the Ex-Mayor's Christmas knife while opening one of Niecy Jr's gifts. So she couldn't grasp the OH BLEEP HANDLE (as The Pony calls it) to hoist herself into T-Hoe.

Once she got in, and I'd managed to hide my smirk, I noticed that Sis was not barefoot, but had on ankle socks. Which are perfectly capable of being laundered. Sweet Gummi Mary! Sis had acted like my running board was molten lava as an excuse not to get inside.

Anyhoo... we chatted for about 5 minutes. I saw the thumb wound, which was healing nicely. The color was good, there was hardly a scab. She moved the thumb all around. But it's still useless to her without feeling.

"I really miss it when I try to put the back on my earring. I can't feel anything."

"If you went to a doctor, they might try to do microsurgery to attach the ends of the nerve together."

"I'm not crazy about being in a hospital right now."

"I know. If you have that feeling like when your tooth nerve is numbed, and you can feel your finger tap on your thumb, then the nerve might grow the ends back together like mine did in my jaw. But it won't happen overnight!"

"I think I'll just wait and see what happens. It looks okay. I just can't feel it."

Niecy hasn't got it so bad with her aunt problem. She could have a numb thumb!


Sioux Roslawski said...

Before the mention of the filthy runningboard even came up, I was wondering... Your sister allowed your dirty car to park so close to the house (by the garage)? She didn't demand you park on the street?

And your sister is worried about dust-covered vehicles, yet she doesn't worry about stepping into the garage or onto a driveway with just socks on? Is her garage mopped and vacuumed daily? Does she hose down her driveway several times a day and then use a hair dryer to get it dry?

Good grief. Your sister is one big PITA.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I never see my great nieces and nephews. I used to mail gifts, but would have to call and ask if they got them. Never a thank you, so I just stopped.

River said...

I thought this was going in an entirely different direction when you let Farmer H put the batteries in, like maybe he put them in wrong and the lamp wouldn't work. I do realise he is smarter than that though, so don't take any notice of my mind. I hope Sis gets feeling back in her thumb eventually.

Hillbilly Mom said...

THE STREET! She can't have the neighbors talking!

Sis's garage floor is that shiny sealed concrete. I daresay the Ex-Mayor probably goes out there with a mop and bucket and scrub brush, dressed like Carol Burnett as the Charwoman, to clean it twice a day! I'm pretty sure he uses a leaf blower on the rougher concrete of the driveway. I think he's mentioned that if I cut my wheels while not rolling, they leave black marks on his driveway... He might have the street sweeper run up there to clean it. He WAS mayor, you know!

I think Sis was just complaining to complain. Something that Farmer H has DARED accuse me of!

Niecy Jr sent a thank you by way of Sis by text. WITH an extortion demand that I need to bring her some CHEX MIX, since I gave it to her last year, but not this year! I really don't think I would have given a tub of Chex Mix to a kindergarten child. But it has been TRIPLE-VERIFIED by Niecy Jr, Niecy, and Sis!

I though he might break off that screw, since he said he didn't have a screwdriver that tiny. Sweet Gummi Mary! I have given him so many Swiss Army Knife gadgets that I'm sure one is available.

I hope Sis isn't too fond of wearing earrings for the next 6 months. Minimum.