In answer to that question, probably her 9th grade English teacher. Because something tells me the title should be asking WHOM should Ms. HM sue. Oh, well. I'm pretty sure he's kicked the bucket by now. He was no spring chicken back then. And we SO enjoyed spending our 50-minute class period watching Wordsmith, which was a PBS program about word roots and their origins and meanings. At least I was thrilled. Perhaps my fellow freshmen not so much. I was even sorry to miss out on some episodes when I got sent home for having the measles. In 9th grade. Before those vaccinations were all the rage.
Anyhoo... I am less than pleased with some companies and entities lately. I'm making a list, and rather than checking it twice, I'll probably be adding to it. Here's the gist of it. With specific complaints.
FedEx: Lying incompetent employees know how to DELIVER a package. They just don't know how to deliver it to the RIGHT ADDRESS.
The Store Brand Olive People: Pack their olives in a circular pattern, making them SO HARD to get out of the tall narrow jar. At which time you notice that about 1 in 5 has no pimento stuffed in the hole. Oh, and there's at least one per jar that still has the PIT inside.
Ginger Evans Cherry Pie Filling: Save A Lot needs to fire her butt toot sweet! [That's technically tout de suite, but I'm not French.] Yes, I know that's a made-up entity and not a real person. But I wouldn't be surprised if ol' Ginger Evans is in cahoots with the olive people. Because her filling is filled with PITS.
The Country Mart Pinwheel Makers: Oh, I'm happy to find pinwheels for my lunches again. But now the makers have altered their ratios. If I want a salad, I'll buy a salad. Not a pinwheel that has more romaine lettuce rolled up in it than any other filling, including the half-a-tomato that still has that green center part in it that's crunchy. No way should a tomato be crunchy. Only the romaine. Both of them should be just a hint, with the meat and cheese taking the forefront.
The Pony: For taking my winning scratcher every day! Let the record show that I give him "charity." I allow him to choose ONE ticket from my purchases. For the past two days, he has chosen the WINNING ticket! $10 the first day, and $15 the next.
The Casino Attendant: Who got all snotty with me when I hit the CALL ATTENDANT button because a slot machine would not cash out my ticket. More on that elsewhere.
Farmer H: Give me a reason NOT to sue him!
These lawsuits may never see the light of day. But it's a less harmless fantasy than some alternatives involving sharp implements.