I felt quite guilty Friday morning. When I awoke in my OPC (Old People Chair) around 11:00 a.m. and headed up the 13 rail-less stairs from the basement, my phone buzzed to signal an incoming text. What I saw chilled me to the bone. Okay. I was already chilled to the bone, having left the comfort of my heated OPC, and fleece blanket won at one of the Christmas Eve parties at the home of my sister the ex-ex mayor's wife. But still, it was a disconcerting text. From The Pony.
"I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to work. I woke up at 6 with a migraine, medicine hasn't helped in 45 minutes. I'm having trouble focusing my eyes and even moving around in the shower is making me feel sick. I really don't think it's safe for me to drive like this."
Sweet Gummi Mary! In The Pony's hour of need, I was not there for him! I would have been, if the text had come in on time. It was stamped 6:43 a.m. Darn my poor SPRINT reception! Sometimes I can get texts by my OPC. But I can't send them. I get the orange exclamation mark telling me to resend or delete.
Now it was 11:00 a.m. The Pony had left for work at 8:05. I know, because he came down a few steps to tell me goodbye. He didn't mention a migraine. And I fell back asleep in my toasty chair, having turned the heater on again. It's on a 15 minute timer.
Of course I sent a text to The Pony. I don't often do that. He's busy working. I figured he could check his phone on his bathroom break.
"Is your head okay? That long text just came in."
Let the record show that The Pony is a writer. Each text is the next War and Peace.
"It was better by the time I left. Just nausea. I sent that text at 6:42 a.m."
Of course that didn't help my guilt, but I was glad to hear that The Pony ONLY had nausea. It was a bear of a day, too. So humid after a downpour, and actual tempersture in the 90s. But The Pony survived to tell the tale. On Sunday. THIS TALE:
"You know the other morning when I had my migraine? I had the light off in my bathroom, because it hurt my eyes. So I was taking my shower in the dark. And you know what? The shower drain GLOWED! Light came out of it! I don't even know how that works."
Well. At first I imagined it to be like that shaft of sunlight through the staff-topper of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Then The Pony clarified that it was just a glow.
"Maybe it was coming through the pipes from another drain? Somewhere else in the house? With the light on. It couldn't be the NASCAR bathroom. Light was off. But the kitchen has the light we leave on."
"That's the only one. The sunlight wasn't coming in the house at that time, to reach any other drain."
The Pony looked around the basement when he carried down my magical elixir and bubba cups of ice.
"Hm. I don't see ANY light that's very bright, or close enough to that drain."
"I don't know. I'll have to ask your dad."
Of course Farmer H had the answer.
"Well, yeah. Light can show through the pipe. It's not coming down THROUGH the pipe. It's coming in from the side. It's not very thick. It's that white PVC pipe. Light can go though. Like if you hold a flashlight up to your hand. Your hand is solid. But the light goes through, and makes that red glow."
I might even believe Farmer H's explanation this time...
5 comments:
Farmer H sounded like he was trying to compete with you for Science Teacher of the Year award.
All your stories of Farmer H... is he really dabbling in rocket science, and you're just downplaying his technical and scientific knowledge?
Why are you using heating in your lair, isn't it still summer there?
If my shower drain starts glowing I'll be moving house!
Sorry to hear about The Pony's head. I get that if I leave my hayfever symptoms untreated.
Sioux,
I used to suspect that Farmer H was an international spy, being sent willy-nilly all over the world: England (THE ISLAND!), Sweden (or Switzerland, I confuse them), Germany, Brazil, and New Jersey! Not the destinations you'd think a Manager of Facility Maintenance would be paid to visit.
Farmer H is a genius with machinery. He looks at something and knows how it works. He can't explain it worth a hoot. Genius got the best of both of us. He's mechanical, and can wordicize. The Pony barely knows how to turn on machinery. Or how a belt works...
***
River,
I'm in a BASEMENT! Which is underground, which is cooler than being up in the hot 90-degree air of summer, baking at 74 thermostat degrees as the setting sun tries to penetrate our living room mini blinds.
The Pony was a bit apprehensive about the glowing drain, too. I should have told him that maybe his hair was radioactive.
I get sinus headaches. I'd had one the day before The Pony's migraine. I think due to the storm that moved in with low pressure. The Pony says the weather doesn't cause his. I told him to keep a food diary. Some things set off migraines, like wine and cheese and nuts. He said he didn't have any wine the night before, though. I think it's sulfates or something in them.
Hah! Sulfates. My niece one year spent a good deal of time researching (facebook, twitter and all the unbelievable rest) and discovered that sulfates were bad so paid a lot of extra money to buy foods that didn't have them, like sulfate free bacon etc. all while consuming large amounts of wine daily.
River,
Heh, heh! I didn't look it up recently, but that's what I remember as the cause: sulfates. I hope she got the cheap wine, to offset the cost of the expensive sulfate-free foods!
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